Jesso
Level 9
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CONTAINS: SUICIDE, DEPRESSION, ANXIETY.
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“Lets. Keep. This. Spicy. Er- not my food of course.”
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First Name:
Bambi
( Sounds like an english name- Gosh! )
Surname:
Bambi Tysuki.
( English AND Japanese last name? What is this. )
Preferred Name:
"Bambi" "Babey"
Aliases:
"Bam" "Bam-Bam" "Bum"
( Who the hell would even THINK about calling their friends "bum.." She's named after the famous movie "Bambi" for crying out loud! )
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Gender:
Female - She / Her
Age:
25 years young.
Height:
5'3 , is most likely shorter than her siblings.
Build:
A slim female, she would have that hourglass build being complimented by lowkey thick thighs. Why LOWKEY thick thighs? Of course not anyone would notice at her thighs unless they are - Unless for some apparent reason they're looking at her thighs to notice enough about her thickness. Other than that they're usually hidden by a thick jacket or some coverage, she's a lady, not a throwaway. She'd have a soft smell of Chanel.
Skin Color:
She'd have fair skin. She's asian anyways, she must of have a tint of YELLOW within her.
Eye Color:
Hazel with a slight tint of blue. (when I say slight tint, I mean it's not that noticeable.)
Hair Style:
Quite wavy nonetheless.
( I wouldn't say it's curly, but enough where it won't be hard for her to brush through it. )
Hair Color:
Rosy Brown.
( When I say Rosy Brown, it means ITS A HINT OF RED NOT FULL RED. )
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Date of Birth:
November 28, 1994
Place of Birth:
Japan, Tokyo
Nationality:
Japanese
Race:
Asian
Sexual Orientation:
Straight, possibly Bisexual?
( She seems to be "confused" about it. dONt AttAck ME fOR uSiNG "coNFuSed" jEez. )
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Appearance:
A small short lady with an hourglass build. She'd usually be seen with a soft smile on her face which would be accompanied by dimples that she got from her father. Her eyes would be Hazel with a hidden tint of blue which her mother gave her. Her hair would be rosy brown as it would be quite wavy but not too curly. She'd have a strong posture and her arms would have at least some muscles. Her eyes would be a lovely almond shape "asian" eyes, they would be quite bigger though. She's usually seen in a dark fur coat over a grey button up, followed by a dark black tie. Her face would give off a warm tone as her voice would compliment her gentle smile. If you came to have seen her face or some features about her. She’d wear fairly minimal make up. Years after healing from her abusive father, she’s quite “pretty” though she’d have the mature look of a 25 year ol- young person, you’ll usually find her with a smile on her.
Personality:
She's fairly clam but her temper is quite bad. She does have struggle learning at such a young age but her efforts are quite determined. She puts always extra things for someone or students to notice. She's not that funny but fairly relaxed for the students to always be comfortable with her, she's fairly open to new ideas and thoughts that could be brought onto the table. Though her ideas might be a bit too wild and too crazy for her excitement, she'll mostly agree on most things that could happen throughout her lifetime. She is fairly thin on her temper with other things if someone is causing trouble that could lead to harm. Though she will and can take extra measures to make sure someone's safe. She will tend to step into things if they seem quite dangerous or unsafe to do. Her persuasive isn't that well but she can handle problems quite well. She's calm and relaxed- a bit too laid back but what could she not do? She's safe to the bone, most of her students already love her, and her effort comes with her hard working skills. She's a hard worker that will get most of it done during her free/spare time. At the end of the day, she'll always sleep with a smile upon her face, she learned so much throughout her life as a growing child.
Character Voice:
Equipment:
She would for some reason carry a pocky stick on her. She'd have a beige purse which she loves to hold around. She will have a grey scrunchie on her wrist but she is NOT a vsco girl.
( i said NOT, she's clearly NOT a vsco girl.. sksksk.. )
Clothes:
She's quite a girly girl as long as a tom-boy look. She honestly fancies formal wear, though it kind of does make her seem a bit strict.. She loves wearing oversized jackets to sweaters. She doesn't normally would steal clothes but if you're her partner she would totally yoink your closet. She doesn't like to dress up as much so she's normally seen in some basic formal wear, grey clothing is what she mostly fancies most, anyways, her favorite color is perhaps grey. Though she'd be seen in this dark fur coat being accompanied by a grey button up with a black tie. This does NOT make her edgy or emo because she likes dark colors rather than light colors, she might be wearing some pop of color here and there but she likes it plain and simple.
Hobbies:
She honestly fancies hanging out with friends and she can get quite protective to strangers nonetheless. She's a well rounded person but you might catch her in the library though just having a nice cup of tea would be nice. She loves nature so the forest or the beach is quite a relaxation for her. Building and having fun with her friends making memories are fairly more important to her than anything. She's quite sporty since at a young child she would run a lot and so as playing volleyball.. I mean where else would she get her luscious thick thighs. If it's supporting her friends or protecting them, she's quite the social butterfly. Even hearing someone's issues or backstory is quite fascinating to her, even if it's a bit tragic, just hearing someone going through tough times inspire her to be someone where everyone could go to.
Serious Problems/Flaws/Addictions/Disorders/Disabilities: Anxiety and Depression. (Stopped having depression at age 17, started at age 9.) Was also emotionally abused, still affects her. Possibly slight ADHD
- As still growing with Anxiety and being Emotionally abused just even after the abusive father has passed away, she has struggle and trouble going up to meet new people, even if it’s basic communication, if she’s comfortable enough to go to you to your problems, you’re in the safe. Although, just even being her own friend has her struggling to go up to you, the fear of thoughts of being annoying or clingy had enough of her. She’s normally a happy jelly bean but her anxiety stops her from making life choices that could of been something great, she’s missed out a lot, and it hurts her sometimes where she could of done something more, to perhaps add to her life. She loves the people who are around her, though they can give off an vibe where it seems like they don’t like her, so in the end, she’s just there, existing.
- Rocking in her chair or little things like pacing around is what helped her ADHD since as she was little instead of fidgeting around.
Skills:
She's a bit slow to learn new things might be a bit of a struggle for her. She tends to forget a lot of things but overall she's a great cook. She could be your local the****** if anyone would really need it, she took another year learning about people's health and how the brain works back in college for a semester. She's quite smart with computers knowing her way through and around them, studying photoshop and video editing, she knows most of her ways around through basic technology. She loves writing and cursive, she was planning to hopefully perhaps becoming an author to show off her passion for it thought it never went past high school, though her writing skills are quite the talent.
Quirks:
She paces herself a bit too much and rocks in her seat too much, she doesn't like sitting still. Would usually say “Oh-” and “Sorry” a bit too much, I wouldn’t say “sorry” is a quirk, but it’s been a habit for a fairly long time since she was little.
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The Tysuki Family.
click here for the discord link
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Kiyu Tysuki - Dad - 56 [DECEASED] (Died from Heart Failure)
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Ryu Tysuki - Mom - 42 [DECEASED] (Died from Suicide)
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Hannah Tysuki - Sister - 21 [ ALIVE ]
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“I’m too shy to say, but I hope you stay.”
Appearance:
She’d be seen with dark black angelic hair as her skin was pale, she’d have an angelic look to her as she’s pretty softer than her own siblings. She’d have fragile skin as she’d smell like cherries.
Personality:
Hannah is very good with creative things like art, she’s usually seen with a smile on her as well of her happiness. She’s pretty independent as from a child, Bambi had to help mostly Amaya rather than her. Hannah is pretty straightforward and an honest person, she can also get open and as well quite secretive. Hannah loves to have a good laugh but when things get serious, she’s really determined to fix the issue.
Character Voice:
She would sound very gentle with a soft voice. It would appear as if she would be shy and an introvert, though she’s fairly extroverted with the people around her. Though when she gets quite angry or frustrated her voice will sound quite imitating and scary to some people.
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Amaya Tysuki - Sister - 19 [ DEAD ]
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“Chicks before D*cks.”
Appearance:
Amaya would stand at 5’3, she’d have medium sized hair as she’d also have the hourglass build. She’d have fairly soft eyes and a smile that seemed pretty happy. She’d look pretty insane from all the cuts and bruises she’d get from being rowdy. She’d have a soft look overall to her little being, she’d still have the “fresh out of my teens” look as she’s babey. Wearing light clothes, a lot of skin would be shown throughout her outfits, though she’d usually be seen in dark green colors, with possibly a hint of color somewhere.
Personality:
Amaya would be pretty rowdy as she'd usually be seen getting into a fight with or starting a fight. She's pretty sneaky around and she's quite mysterious. Her aroma would seem to be quite dangerous or quite heckit as she's usually seen a bit dirty. She's fairly protective with a flirty personality. She'll usually argue or fight back, standing up her friends like usual. She'll usually be showing off or screaming at her own "mother" but the mother - daughter bond is a bit too strong for anyone to notice. She wouldn't consider herself as a "hoe" morely of a "player" as she's flirty with all types of genders, though she's heterosexual. She’ll always be flirting with something constantly.
Character Voice:
Of course she'd have some "flirty" accent to her, always interesting, hUH? I mean- She has a nice voice, she's quite firm to the rim, and.. she's just her! I mean- She has a soft voice which could be heard unless when she pulls out that hot red text, she's just plain angry OR annoyed at that point.
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Nozu Tysuki - ADOPTED Daughter - 17 [ALIVE]
"I wouldn't say I am, but I am."
Appearance:
She'd be seen in pigtails, either in dull or bright colors. She'd usually seen with a straight face but her giggles are quite frequent. In a formal suit or in her casual wear, she tends to be quite tough with minimal muscles, standing at 5'1. Having a small body her chest is quite slim but being complimented by medium sized thighs.
Personality:
She's fairly a bright and a strong minded person. Doesn't really talk much though she's smart and strong enough to obey and listen to others when something is needed to be done. She's usually seen either spacing out or freaking out. She's more of a daydreamer and fairly smart. Though some of her choices could be quite dumb she's usually unsure with more of her bad choices that she has made. Being able to stand up for those who she cares about, she's normally quite the wanderer.
Character's Voice:
Having a fairly squeaky voice she's still quite smart and strong with her words. She usually being heard with a giggle or a soft laugh, she's normally seen the other way around of what she's normally expected to be seen as. She isn't a "ho" but she is usually quite something when she's with her friends.
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Family Crest:
All Bambi, Hannah, and Amaya would have a black inked tattoo that would be their crest.
It would be on the left side of the torso, near the chest, and under the arm.
[ It would also stand for their WIP Organization called "Jesters." ]
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Do not feel attacked or offended because you aren't in here. I will be updating this as time flies by but do not be like oH mY gOD iM nOT iN hErE, these are for CLOSE friends of the Tysuki family.
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Amelia Artemvia - Family Friend - 18 [ ALIVE ]
“I’m in a pickle.”
Appearance:
You would approach a very short female that would stand 5’0 tall and would weigh about 83 lbs which is a little underweight for her height. Madie has a very skinny athletic build and is very light which makes it easy for anyone to pick her up. Her skin is pale like a small porcelain doll and she would have a greyish color for her eye color with a long pair of eyelashes that would stand out dearly.Madie’s hair would be a very light brown tone which would land around waist length.
Personality:
She seems much like a baby to others due to her height and how she acts, but don’t let that fool you she’s kind of a mean. She’s protective of her friends and you’ll normally see her a bit stressed or saying that she’s a “pickle” or a bit happy. Madie doesn’t exactly carry any sort of problems with her but she’s quite smart. She would always stand up for her friends and is fairly supportive, as she’s also pretty sporty. She has an open personality like a social butterfly and loves to have a good laugh.
Character's Voice:
Her voice is very soft but squeaky like a 5 year old getting their first toy similar to that but replaced by a eight-teen year old girl!
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Jonah 'Esdeath' B. - Family Friend - 19 - [ DEAD ]
"Unfortunate."
Appearance:
Jojo would be quite tall when you see him, he'd be at 6'2 with quite some-what curly jet black hair. He would have quite elegant light turquoise colored eyes which are absolutely eye-catching. His slim muscular build would lead him to decide that he wanted a small heart tattoo on his left pectoral muscle.
Personality:
Jonah would seem like an edgy yet intimidating male, but he'd actually be a calm, outgoing person. He'd tend to hide his feelings from others, which would cause him to think to himself constantly. He'd sometimes tend to 'space out' due to him overthinking.
Character's voice:
He would have a smooth, deep toned voice which puberty basically hit him like a truck, some might say that his voice would sound like an 'Angel.'
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Katana "Ko" Saki - Family Friend - 18 - [ ALIVE ]
[ Katana ]
“Might mess around, break someone’s heart.”
Appearance:
She'd stand at 4'11, quite short if I do say so myself. Wearing bright colors having a tucker denim jacket which you'd see her mostly wear. She doesn't fancy a lot of things as her appearance has basically changed drastically as she was formally known as "Kotori B." But due to an event it lead her to change her hair and name, though her features would be quite the same as she'd be seen having a button nose with faint blush. She'd use to have dark blue hair to pink bleached hair.
Personality:
She's a bright person and she's super duper caring. Her passion becoming a therapy from a rough tough family changed her views, she didn't want to harm friends, rather she wanted to help friends. She wanted others to live a safe and happy life. She wouldn't always seem to have a smile on her but her expressions could be quite interesting, she's a ball of excitement but she could rain on your day. Though she's helpful and would love to assist friends even when the job is dangerous. A but slow and dumb, she doesn't know much, her mentor would be Bambi Tysuki.
Character Voice:
She'd have a soft rough voice that would be passed through, though she's working on quite the strong british accent. She always fancied people with an amazing accent, though she'd still have a little bit of some squeakiness here and there.
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Karasu - Family Friend - 20 - [ ALIVE ]
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[ Information will be edited/added later on ]
Nozomi Evans - Bambi's Assistant - 25 - [ ALIVE ]
Appearance:
Standing at 5'5 being a tall blonde female, she's normally being seen wearing blue that would compliment her green emerald eyes. She'd have sharp features such as a jawline as she is also complimented by her plumped lips. Having a slim build on her, she'd have fairly thin thighs. She'd be seen with minimal muscles.
Personality:
She's a fighter, she would fight for anyone but specifically mostly her friends and family. She's usually arguing with Nozu about her bad choices though she's fairly smart. She's smarter than Nozu and Bambi combined, though the battle between Bambi and Nozomi has yet to be determined. She has a strong passion for fighting others if it was to protect her loved ones.
Character's Voice:
She'd have a toned voice though still light with a soft southern accent attached. Being from the Texas area, with her other siblings, she's normally isn't seen other than fighting Nozu. Though she's light and quick on her feet and doesn't tend to complain about a lot of things that happen to her. She'd have a soft flirty scent to her as she's single and is ready to mingle ;)
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[ Gentle Beginnings. ]
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Starting from Japan, Ryu Akisama was a bright person at a young age. Ryu would get good grades, she was fairly nice to the people around her. Ryu was quite gentle as a person and people would get the best of it. She would always try her hardest as in helping others through tough times, always putting a smile upon her. Ryu was quite the hopeless romantic until she met Kiyu. Kiyu was quite eye catching to Ryu in high school. They would go on dates, talk a lot, go to classes together, eventually they dated. It felt like a dream come true. Kiyu wouldn’t exactly be the hard worker as Ryu though..
“I’ll miss what we had, though we never had anything to begin with.”
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[ What felt like a horror story. ]
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When Kiyu and Ryu went through college, Ryu fell into a trap by the days passed of their relationship. Kiyu was mean, abusive, and such a laid back person to the point Ryu tried to leave. Infact, 12 times she attempted to leave Kiyu on his knees but he kept her back, holding back the urge to leave him, he said he would promise everything to her. Kiyu did nothing, the only thing that changed was his drinking habits. And soon enough, Kiyu hurt Ryu. It wasn’t- no, it was abuse. It was toxic, abusive, unhealthy, but it was worse. Kiyu tackled Ryu against the wall in the apartment, Ryu was staying in. Ryu got ****d a few minutes later in the same apartment. Screaming and pleading for help, Kiyu wanted all of her.
“I’ll find an escape, and be happy again.”
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[ Goodbye, it’s nice.. Living. ]
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Ryu planned to move out and grow Bambi on her own, but Kiyu tried his best to keep Ryu with him, as Ryu was only his mental escape. Ryu made plans to go through out but before then, she had 3 daughters with Kiyu that she didn’t want. Through over 20 years of emotional, mental, and physical abuse. By the end of each month she’d have at most 5 bruises by the end of each month. Ryu was tired and sickened to the bone of what a monster Kiyu had become. Fighting for her life, she decided she couldn’t take it. Kiyu was too drunk to understand her worries, and never had rational actions. Ryu then grew depression on her and on February 19th, 2000 she committed suicide.. But how? She filled up the bathtub, as she got a bottle of pills ready.. It was advil that she was planning to do something with it.. Bambi was at school, Kiyu out of the house, drinking.. The usual.. Only Hannah and Amaya were home, both were fairly little, just watching TV from the small apartment that the family had own. Ryu had already swallowed basically half the bottle before her immune system had started reacting negatively to the pills. Ryu quickly went into the bathtub as she slowly dipped herself in, drowning her life out. The door opened from the front of the house, Kiyu was home.
“HEY HONEY, WHERE YOU AT?”
No response was sent, except small sounds from the TV would be heard.
“BABE? I NEED YOU- I’M A BIT-”
A loud thump would be heard if you were there, seeing the man had leaned against the door frame, trying to stand up.
“Where- Where’s that b*tch..”
His anger would fuse up as he walked around the house.
5 minutes have passed, Ryu is long gone and has not been seen yet.
Loud stepping sounds from Kiyu would be heard, Hannah and Amaya would already be hugging from fear, though Amaya being 1 years old, she’d be like a baby, she’d goo-goo ga-ga at Hannah.
Kiyu has reached the bathroom, trying to unlock the door.
“Chk Chk Chk- Skrrrrr Ch- Chk- Chk-...”
The door would be locked shut as Kiyu would be opening the door, trying to scramble through his keys, trying to open the door, his forehead would sweat, thinking, “is she here? She has to be alive? Maybe she’s just taking a sh*t.. A long one..”
The door opened, Kiyu looked through as tears fled from his eyes. His widened eyes, his life just flashed through him as he was slammed onto the ground, his knees hitting the floor, “THUMP.”
His mouth would move but no words would have been said. The mother is gone. Who will he turn to now?
3 hours until Bambi would come home, Amaya and Hannah are in their own bedroom.
-
If you’re wondering what happened to the body, he took it out to the back and wrapped it away in a garbage bag and left it in the garage. Planning to put it in a grave later on.
-
Bambi would walk down home, by the time her foot would land on the welcome mat, she knocked on the door twice, “IM HOMEEEEE”
A happy expression would grow upon her, seeing her mother was what made her happy, feel loved. Her only safe place.
It wouldn’t be her mother that would open the door. Despair would be seen from the father as he opened the door.
He didn’t tell Bambi anything but, “Your mother packed her bags and left." which was obviously a total lie, but Bambi could see what sadden has brought onto him, scared as she should be. She still kept her distance from Kiyu, distancing herself away as she went to her other sisters to take care of, knowing, she's going to do something to help them.
“I’ll miss.. you.”
Kiyu wasn’t the fatherly figure nor was sober enough to even keep his children. Since Ryu died when Bambi was at age 6, Bambi had to take the motherly figure for Hannah and Amaya. Bambi wasn’t that mature enough to know most of the things as she lacked a parent figure, she would wonder where her mother always went as she stopped seeing her.. Bambi tried her hardest from cooking to even getting a job at such a young age. Not knowing what's it like being a parent or to even how to be one, she tried her hardest for the family, wondering, "what would mom do.." Or "Mom would do this / that." She tried her hardest to support her siblings. Bambi fought for her sisters but the father was too drunk to understand what was going on. It felt like a clock. Some days and some hours the father would abuse them any way he could. No one was there, she couldn’t find help within her family, she felt isolated, trapped, stuck, she felt like she had no one, she felt like she could go to know one, fear of having other people dealing with it, she bottled her feelings to the point where she’d cry for hours. Bambi had so much guilt within her that it felt like it was her fault that the mom left, why the dad was abusive, that she gained depression at age 9. She was still young as long with her siblings and a stranger that they don’t even know. (By stranger I meant the father. He didn’t treat them like he knew them rather he treated them like strays.) Bambi only getting about 700 yen a day, almost at most enough to feed her hungry siblings. The stranger became greedy and took whatever Bambi would have left to buy more beer or alcohol, whatever he could get his hands on. Having a stronger bond with Amaya than Hannah, Bambi would treat Amaya like a child and slightly lied to Amaya that she was her mom. Soon, as mentioned before it feeling like a clock, she gained anxiety wondering if she could even feed her siblings the next day, whenever she could escape this harsh pathway.
“I’m sorry, I could of been happier.”
On December 27, 2003, Kiyu has then died from heart failure, but he did have some spare money for the children to at least be able to have some sort of shelter. Was that the only good thing that he has served to the table? Technically yes, that’s all he did. Wasted money but was able to give a little back to the family. Bambi would have been 10 by now. Even before his death he knew that one day he was going to die. At age 54 (2 years before he passed away) he wrote a letter to his children explaining how his “girlfriend” was beautiful and how awful he was as a father, how he failed to present his role. He wrote with every expression upon his face as tears would drip down onto the paper. It took him at least 2 months writing the full thing. Writing with paper and an inked feather, he would finish it in no time. Filled with his sober emotions and thoughts, breaking down numerous times, he knew he messed up as a person, though it didn’t stop him, even if it meant that it could fix the bond he had with them, even if it was for a bit.
“Continue on..”
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[ The Letter ]
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“Hey Children.
By now reading this you’ll know me as a stranger, a somebody, I wasn’t the father figure I could of been to you children, I should of protected her. Instead I wasted her time, energy, and life on my own selfishness. You deserve better, a better future from what I gave you. I’m sorry Bambi, Hannah, and Amaya. You children deserve someone else better than me. I abused, ****d, and tormented your mother. I didn’t know what I wanted- In fact I did know what I want, but in the end, I ruined your future and your mothers. Taking your hard earned money, taking her life, I could have promised her the world, I could of helped her dreams. She dropped out of college to protect and save you children, worked basically full time to even attempt to support you guys, and I made it worse for not only her but for you guys. Drinking, Abuse, Toxic, Unhealthy relationships which all could of been avoided. I’m sorry that I became the person of who I am now.
By now, yes I do regret every action I have made and decided to do. I could have changed your path to have a better outlook but instead, you guys were suffering and I wasn’t sober enough to understand. Hopefully, as I will possibly not see you guys become the person in the future, I can assure you, you guys were there for me even though I did nothing to you guys. If you hate me as a person I’d understand.
───
Bambi.
I’m proud of who you are, at age whatever you are now, having your hardest to support your sisters, I am so grateful and happy for you. I know I never showed it through my actions, in fact all my actions were abusive and I’m sorry that I gave you the toughest life out of all your siblings. Working for hours and all I ever did was take your money for drinking rather than helping the family. For Christ's sake I didn’t even help you gain money, I didn’t even have a job- Bambi, I am genuinely sorry from the heart. I know one day you’ll become happy and a successful person. I know one day you’ll fall in love with someone who will love you better than I ever did. You honestly deserved everything and anything better than what I gave you. I hope the best for you and your future, you deserve every good at you, please don't blame yourself for my wrong doings that it's your fault.
───
Hannah.
You’re the middle child, I don’t have much of a bond with you, but you were quite smart. I know I seemed to be quite drunk to notice your little actions but you always stood out to me. You were different unlike Bambi and Amaya. You seemed to have self confident, always giving out your best when it felt like your worst. I know that you will hopefully succeed as a person. Remember to keep your head high, if you were able to survive even just around 6 years with me, I’m sure you can survive anything that is going to be thrown at you.
───
Amaya,
You were only a little girl when I was drinking day to night, you wouldn't remember much and I understand that. You were a strong girl, with such a powerful soul. I hope you must have carried that with you through your life, and I want you to know I'm proud of you, no matter what you do with your life. I just wanted to tell you how deeply sorry I am, what I did was wrong, even if you don't remember it. I was a bad man, I hurt your mother and your sisters, as well as yourself. The real world is a scary place, but I know you can handle it. I'm happy for you, and I hope you have a great life.
───
By now seeing this, I hope you all have matured enough, I’m sure that you all will succeed in the future, remember to try to be there for everyone when you can. No one will be greater than your own self confidence, always try to reach out to people. Try to maybe try new things, the opportunities are endless and will grow as you kids will grow. Hopefully you all will become the strong and beautiful woman your mom was, oh how great she was, she was quite stunning. I guess it’s her time to get the letter.
───
Ryu Akiama,
By now even if you ever get this, because you’re.. Dead.. I hope you are in a better place from what I made you face. I know what I have done is wrong, abused you and kept you in this garden of guilt. I’m sorry that I turned your life thinking suicide was the correct answer. I’m sorry I didn’t do anything to prevent it or help your mentally. School was already stressing you enough that you had to take care of the children you possibly didn’t even want. But I can’t tell what your feelings are right now. All I can say is that I’m disappointed within myself, and if I could, I’d snap all the pain away. I’m already 54, can you believe it? But I’m sorry that I was never the father figure you might have hoped for me to be."
─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ. ───
[ Life without Parents. ]
─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ. ───
Living basically alone with her two other siblings, she tried her hardest to make it the best for her younger sisters. Multiple jobs, taking education, it felt like it was too much for her. Having anxiety trying to talk to people was an issue but her depression got better over her teen years. Bambi never noticed but she has gained ADHD and has slight ADD since she was born, she would have little actions like swaying in her chair or just playing with something that she has in sight to pacing around. She thinks that it’s similar to autism or something that would lead her to seem a bit dumb or “slow,” though she is a bit of a slow learner than most, trying to understand things absolutely hurts her brain but she’ll try to put in the effort to succeed. She never exactly fancied dating at such a young age as her fear of someone being like her failed father. Bambi would usually escape her realities through doodling on notes and tests to reading and writing. She never exactly fancied reading but just looking at history books fascinated her. She loved hearing the past but people’s stories. She met a female named Kotori when Kotori decided to move to Japan with her mother. At such an age gap between Kotori and Bambi, their friendship grew as they would hanged out most of their lives since they met. Bambi would be quite sweet to Kotori as she’s still learning until Kotori decided to move out with her other friends. Bambi stayed in her hometown as she was comfortable at. Eventually both Hannah and Amaya moved out to stay with Kotori though they barely connected. Amaya was able to get along with most of Kotori’s new family and friends. But before we knew it, Kotori decided to change her identity. Kotori changed from Kotori to Katana. (Will still reference Katana as Kotori) Of course Bambi being one of her closest friends, Bambi knew most of it. The abuse and thoughts she had. Kotori had to bend her morals to fit in, Kotori had to bend her thoughts and ideas, scraping everything she ever wished for, for someone who became a stranger to her. Kotori having her ups and downs, she was able to survive most of it though her sanity for a couple days could not have been found. She’s too violent and too misleading. Bambi had to be there for her. Bambi would plead for Kotori to come visit her often to get her mind back on track. For her to mature and become a new and better person. Kotori had one similar passion to Bambi, but Kotori wanted to pursue her dream of becoming a the******. Bambi did gain some reckless acts but being quite modern and knowledgeable, Bambi loved art, she loved reading, she could become an Author for all anyone could know.
“Bring out the good in people.”
Bambi loved helping the people around her, including close friends for example, Kotori. Bambi was determined to help restore her path by building a new path where happiness and sunshine could rain through. Thought it was quite a struggle. Bambi didn’t know what she wanted to be when she grew up. Helping her siblings was the far most the thing she only knew. As she turned 15, she didn’t know much about the world still. All she had was a cheap phone, some clothes, and meals. Surviving on her own, she was determined to work harder. To do what she can to help herself and her family, trying her best to even just support a little bit of friends.
“It doesn’t matter how long you live, it’s how you live it.”
There was one job that stood out to her, it was advertising and making the advertisement, even if it was just from paint to large printers she loved it all. She surrounded herself with things that made her happy.. She loved creating and selling things though although she would not fancy having a business to take care of. She fancied more of perhaps just maybe teaching someone so perhaps they could grow and maybe finish the second half of her dream, which is perhaps begin a business, there’s no limit to business like there is to art. So maybe design would be perfect for her, but she loved technology even though whatever she mostly used was a cheap phone, though she made the best of it. Showing her ideas and designs online, taking pictures of banners that she’d make with paint during her free time. She found her passion. She knew what path she wanted to take and complete. Even if she wanted to succeed, maybe helping people succeed was what she loved to do. She wanted to become a teacher, easy passion right? Just take what’s needed and sign up. Though she lacked quite a lot of skills, having to take training lessons after, during, or before, she had to set herself ready. Taking multiple courses, getting her degree. Her hard work paid off in the end. She sent an application of where her friends would go to for school. Of course, seeing Kotori perhaps or Amaya, or even meeting Kotori’s friend, she had a blast. Although, there was a lot of broken paths along the way to her job. Having to go through more studying, training, or even just testing things out. She wanted to make sure she was ready. She wanted to know that she was prepared of what she will face and go through. Her ideas and thoughts always stood out to her, perhaps they weren’t what other people would see, but just a burst of color is what some people would describe her. She’d pretty nice as a person- Perhaps she’s really open as a person. She’s quite gentle with friends and others even though her temper is quite limited..
“What- Wow.”
Bambi, Hannah, and Amaya are all grown up. Bambi is still quite having secrets from Amaya since she’s still babey, although, Bambi will plan to tell Amaya everything. Soon the secrets will tell, Bambi’s and Amaya’s relationship will change during time, though, how long will the secrets be hidden, as long Bambi could remember, since Amaya was born, Bambi have some wild things to tell..
[ WIP ]
[ To be continued.. ]
─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ. ───
[ Gentle Beginnings. ]
─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ. ───
Starting from Japan, Ryu Akisama was a bright person at a young age. Ryu would get good grades, she was fairly nice to the people around her. Ryu was quite gentle as a person and people would get the best of it. She would always try her hardest as in helping others through tough times, always putting a smile upon her. Ryu was quite the hopeless romantic until she met Kiyu. Kiyu was quite eye catching to Ryu in high school. They would go on dates, talk a lot, go to classes together, eventually they dated. It felt like a dream come true. Kiyu wouldn’t exactly be the hard worker as Ryu though..
“I’ll miss what we had, though we never had anything to begin with.”
─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ. ───
[ What felt like a horror story. ]
─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ. ───
When Kiyu and Ryu went through college, Ryu fell into a trap by the days passed of their relationship. Kiyu was mean, abusive, and such a laid back person to the point Ryu tried to leave. Infact, 12 times she attempted to leave Kiyu on his knees but he kept her back, holding back the urge to leave him, he said he would promise everything to her. Kiyu did nothing, the only thing that changed was his drinking habits. And soon enough, Kiyu hurt Ryu. It wasn’t- no, it was abuse. It was toxic, abusive, unhealthy, but it was worse. Kiyu tackled Ryu against the wall in the apartment, Ryu was staying in. Ryu got ****d a few minutes later in the same apartment. Screaming and pleading for help, Kiyu wanted all of her.
“I’ll find an escape, and be happy again.”
─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ. ───
[ Goodbye, it’s nice.. Living. ]
─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ. ───
Ryu planned to move out and grow Bambi on her own, but Kiyu tried his best to keep Ryu with him, as Ryu was only his mental escape. Ryu made plans to go through out but before then, she had 3 daughters with Kiyu that she didn’t want. Through over 20 years of emotional, mental, and physical abuse. By the end of each month she’d have at most 5 bruises by the end of each month. Ryu was tired and sickened to the bone of what a monster Kiyu had become. Fighting for her life, she decided she couldn’t take it. Kiyu was too drunk to understand her worries, and never had rational actions. Ryu then grew depression on her and on February 19th, 2000 she committed suicide.. But how? She filled up the bathtub, as she got a bottle of pills ready.. It was advil that she was planning to do something with it.. Bambi was at school, Kiyu out of the house, drinking.. The usual.. Only Hannah and Amaya were home, both were fairly little, just watching TV from the small apartment that the family had own. Ryu had already swallowed basically half the bottle before her immune system had started reacting negatively to the pills. Ryu quickly went into the bathtub as she slowly dipped herself in, drowning her life out. The door opened from the front of the house, Kiyu was home.
“HEY HONEY, WHERE YOU AT?”
No response was sent, except small sounds from the TV would be heard.
“BABE? I NEED YOU- I’M A BIT-”
A loud thump would be heard if you were there, seeing the man had leaned against the door frame, trying to stand up.
“Where- Where’s that b*tch..”
His anger would fuse up as he walked around the house.
5 minutes have passed, Ryu is long gone and has not been seen yet.
Loud stepping sounds from Kiyu would be heard, Hannah and Amaya would already be hugging from fear, though Amaya being 1 years old, she’d be like a baby, she’d goo-goo ga-ga at Hannah.
Kiyu has reached the bathroom, trying to unlock the door.
“Chk Chk Chk- Skrrrrr Ch- Chk- Chk-...”
The door would be locked shut as Kiyu would be opening the door, trying to scramble through his keys, trying to open the door, his forehead would sweat, thinking, “is she here? She has to be alive? Maybe she’s just taking a sh*t.. A long one..”
The door opened, Kiyu looked through as tears fled from his eyes. His widened eyes, his life just flashed through him as he was slammed onto the ground, his knees hitting the floor, “THUMP.”
His mouth would move but no words would have been said. The mother is gone. Who will he turn to now?
3 hours until Bambi would come home, Amaya and Hannah are in their own bedroom.
-
If you’re wondering what happened to the body, he took it out to the back and wrapped it away in a garbage bag and left it in the garage. Planning to put it in a grave later on.
-
Bambi would walk down home, by the time her foot would land on the welcome mat, she knocked on the door twice, “IM HOMEEEEE”
A happy expression would grow upon her, seeing her mother was what made her happy, feel loved. Her only safe place.
It wouldn’t be her mother that would open the door. Despair would be seen from the father as he opened the door.
He didn’t tell Bambi anything but, “Your mother packed her bags and left." which was obviously a total lie, but Bambi could see what sadden has brought onto him, scared as she should be. She still kept her distance from Kiyu, distancing herself away as she went to her other sisters to take care of, knowing, she's going to do something to help them.
“I’ll miss.. you.”
Kiyu wasn’t the fatherly figure nor was sober enough to even keep his children. Since Ryu died when Bambi was at age 6, Bambi had to take the motherly figure for Hannah and Amaya. Bambi wasn’t that mature enough to know most of the things as she lacked a parent figure, she would wonder where her mother always went as she stopped seeing her.. Bambi tried her hardest from cooking to even getting a job at such a young age. Not knowing what's it like being a parent or to even how to be one, she tried her hardest for the family, wondering, "what would mom do.." Or "Mom would do this / that." She tried her hardest to support her siblings. Bambi fought for her sisters but the father was too drunk to understand what was going on. It felt like a clock. Some days and some hours the father would abuse them any way he could. No one was there, she couldn’t find help within her family, she felt isolated, trapped, stuck, she felt like she had no one, she felt like she could go to know one, fear of having other people dealing with it, she bottled her feelings to the point where she’d cry for hours. Bambi had so much guilt within her that it felt like it was her fault that the mom left, why the dad was abusive, that she gained depression at age 9. She was still young as long with her siblings and a stranger that they don’t even know. (By stranger I meant the father. He didn’t treat them like he knew them rather he treated them like strays.) Bambi only getting about 700 yen a day, almost at most enough to feed her hungry siblings. The stranger became greedy and took whatever Bambi would have left to buy more beer or alcohol, whatever he could get his hands on. Having a stronger bond with Amaya than Hannah, Bambi would treat Amaya like a child and slightly lied to Amaya that she was her mom. Soon, as mentioned before it feeling like a clock, she gained anxiety wondering if she could even feed her siblings the next day, whenever she could escape this harsh pathway.
“I’m sorry, I could of been happier.”
On December 27, 2003, Kiyu has then died from heart failure, but he did have some spare money for the children to at least be able to have some sort of shelter. Was that the only good thing that he has served to the table? Technically yes, that’s all he did. Wasted money but was able to give a little back to the family. Bambi would have been 10 by now. Even before his death he knew that one day he was going to die. At age 54 (2 years before he passed away) he wrote a letter to his children explaining how his “girlfriend” was beautiful and how awful he was as a father, how he failed to present his role. He wrote with every expression upon his face as tears would drip down onto the paper. It took him at least 2 months writing the full thing. Writing with paper and an inked feather, he would finish it in no time. Filled with his sober emotions and thoughts, breaking down numerous times, he knew he messed up as a person, though it didn’t stop him, even if it meant that it could fix the bond he had with them, even if it was for a bit.
“Continue on..”
─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ. ───
[ The Letter ]
─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ. ───
“Hey Children.
By now reading this you’ll know me as a stranger, a somebody, I wasn’t the father figure I could of been to you children, I should of protected her. Instead I wasted her time, energy, and life on my own selfishness. You deserve better, a better future from what I gave you. I’m sorry Bambi, Hannah, and Amaya. You children deserve someone else better than me. I abused, ****d, and tormented your mother. I didn’t know what I wanted- In fact I did know what I want, but in the end, I ruined your future and your mothers. Taking your hard earned money, taking her life, I could have promised her the world, I could of helped her dreams. She dropped out of college to protect and save you children, worked basically full time to even attempt to support you guys, and I made it worse for not only her but for you guys. Drinking, Abuse, Toxic, Unhealthy relationships which all could of been avoided. I’m sorry that I became the person of who I am now.
By now, yes I do regret every action I have made and decided to do. I could have changed your path to have a better outlook but instead, you guys were suffering and I wasn’t sober enough to understand. Hopefully, as I will possibly not see you guys become the person in the future, I can assure you, you guys were there for me even though I did nothing to you guys. If you hate me as a person I’d understand.
───
Bambi.
I’m proud of who you are, at age whatever you are now, having your hardest to support your sisters, I am so grateful and happy for you. I know I never showed it through my actions, in fact all my actions were abusive and I’m sorry that I gave you the toughest life out of all your siblings. Working for hours and all I ever did was take your money for drinking rather than helping the family. For Christ's sake I didn’t even help you gain money, I didn’t even have a job- Bambi, I am genuinely sorry from the heart. I know one day you’ll become happy and a successful person. I know one day you’ll fall in love with someone who will love you better than I ever did. You honestly deserved everything and anything better than what I gave you. I hope the best for you and your future, you deserve every good at you, please don't blame yourself for my wrong doings that it's your fault.
───
Hannah.
You’re the middle child, I don’t have much of a bond with you, but you were quite smart. I know I seemed to be quite drunk to notice your little actions but you always stood out to me. You were different unlike Bambi and Amaya. You seemed to have self confident, always giving out your best when it felt like your worst. I know that you will hopefully succeed as a person. Remember to keep your head high, if you were able to survive even just around 6 years with me, I’m sure you can survive anything that is going to be thrown at you.
───
Amaya,
You were only a little girl when I was drinking day to night, you wouldn't remember much and I understand that. You were a strong girl, with such a powerful soul. I hope you must have carried that with you through your life, and I want you to know I'm proud of you, no matter what you do with your life. I just wanted to tell you how deeply sorry I am, what I did was wrong, even if you don't remember it. I was a bad man, I hurt your mother and your sisters, as well as yourself. The real world is a scary place, but I know you can handle it. I'm happy for you, and I hope you have a great life.
───
By now seeing this, I hope you all have matured enough, I’m sure that you all will succeed in the future, remember to try to be there for everyone when you can. No one will be greater than your own self confidence, always try to reach out to people. Try to maybe try new things, the opportunities are endless and will grow as you kids will grow. Hopefully you all will become the strong and beautiful woman your mom was, oh how great she was, she was quite stunning. I guess it’s her time to get the letter.
───
Ryu Akiama,
By now even if you ever get this, because you’re.. Dead.. I hope you are in a better place from what I made you face. I know what I have done is wrong, abused you and kept you in this garden of guilt. I’m sorry that I turned your life thinking suicide was the correct answer. I’m sorry I didn’t do anything to prevent it or help your mentally. School was already stressing you enough that you had to take care of the children you possibly didn’t even want. But I can’t tell what your feelings are right now. All I can say is that I’m disappointed within myself, and if I could, I’d snap all the pain away. I’m already 54, can you believe it? But I’m sorry that I was never the father figure you might have hoped for me to be."
─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ. ───
[ Life without Parents. ]
─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ. ───
Living basically alone with her two other siblings, she tried her hardest to make it the best for her younger sisters. Multiple jobs, taking education, it felt like it was too much for her. Having anxiety trying to talk to people was an issue but her depression got better over her teen years. Bambi never noticed but she has gained ADHD and has slight ADD since she was born, she would have little actions like swaying in her chair or just playing with something that she has in sight to pacing around. She thinks that it’s similar to autism or something that would lead her to seem a bit dumb or “slow,” though she is a bit of a slow learner than most, trying to understand things absolutely hurts her brain but she’ll try to put in the effort to succeed. She never exactly fancied dating at such a young age as her fear of someone being like her failed father. Bambi would usually escape her realities through doodling on notes and tests to reading and writing. She never exactly fancied reading but just looking at history books fascinated her. She loved hearing the past but people’s stories. She met a female named Kotori when Kotori decided to move to Japan with her mother. At such an age gap between Kotori and Bambi, their friendship grew as they would hanged out most of their lives since they met. Bambi would be quite sweet to Kotori as she’s still learning until Kotori decided to move out with her other friends. Bambi stayed in her hometown as she was comfortable at. Eventually both Hannah and Amaya moved out to stay with Kotori though they barely connected. Amaya was able to get along with most of Kotori’s new family and friends. But before we knew it, Kotori decided to change her identity. Kotori changed from Kotori to Katana. (Will still reference Katana as Kotori) Of course Bambi being one of her closest friends, Bambi knew most of it. The abuse and thoughts she had. Kotori had to bend her morals to fit in, Kotori had to bend her thoughts and ideas, scraping everything she ever wished for, for someone who became a stranger to her. Kotori having her ups and downs, she was able to survive most of it though her sanity for a couple days could not have been found. She’s too violent and too misleading. Bambi had to be there for her. Bambi would plead for Kotori to come visit her often to get her mind back on track. For her to mature and become a new and better person. Kotori had one similar passion to Bambi, but Kotori wanted to pursue her dream of becoming a the******. Bambi did gain some reckless acts but being quite modern and knowledgeable, Bambi loved art, she loved reading, she could become an Author for all anyone could know.
“Bring out the good in people.”
Bambi loved helping the people around her, including close friends for example, Kotori. Bambi was determined to help restore her path by building a new path where happiness and sunshine could rain through. Thought it was quite a struggle. Bambi didn’t know what she wanted to be when she grew up. Helping her siblings was the far most the thing she only knew. As she turned 15, she didn’t know much about the world still. All she had was a cheap phone, some clothes, and meals. Surviving on her own, she was determined to work harder. To do what she can to help herself and her family, trying her best to even just support a little bit of friends.
“It doesn’t matter how long you live, it’s how you live it.”
There was one job that stood out to her, it was advertising and making the advertisement, even if it was just from paint to large printers she loved it all. She surrounded herself with things that made her happy.. She loved creating and selling things though although she would not fancy having a business to take care of. She fancied more of perhaps just maybe teaching someone so perhaps they could grow and maybe finish the second half of her dream, which is perhaps begin a business, there’s no limit to business like there is to art. So maybe design would be perfect for her, but she loved technology even though whatever she mostly used was a cheap phone, though she made the best of it. Showing her ideas and designs online, taking pictures of banners that she’d make with paint during her free time. She found her passion. She knew what path she wanted to take and complete. Even if she wanted to succeed, maybe helping people succeed was what she loved to do. She wanted to become a teacher, easy passion right? Just take what’s needed and sign up. Though she lacked quite a lot of skills, having to take training lessons after, during, or before, she had to set herself ready. Taking multiple courses, getting her degree. Her hard work paid off in the end. She sent an application of where her friends would go to for school. Of course, seeing Kotori perhaps or Amaya, or even meeting Kotori’s friend, she had a blast. Although, there was a lot of broken paths along the way to her job. Having to go through more studying, training, or even just testing things out. She wanted to make sure she was ready. She wanted to know that she was prepared of what she will face and go through. Her ideas and thoughts always stood out to her, perhaps they weren’t what other people would see, but just a burst of color is what some people would describe her. She’d pretty nice as a person- Perhaps she’s really open as a person. She’s quite gentle with friends and others even though her temper is quite limited..
“What- Wow.”
Bambi, Hannah, and Amaya are all grown up. Bambi is still quite having secrets from Amaya since she’s still babey, although, Bambi will plan to tell Amaya everything. Soon the secrets will tell, Bambi’s and Amaya’s relationship will change during time, though, how long will the secrets be hidden, as long Bambi could remember, since Amaya was born, Bambi have some wild things to tell..
[ WIP ]
[ To be continued.. ]
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