jeni
Level 2
I know it’s taken a long time for me to say anything. It’s been unimaginably difficult to find the words to say. Each time I tried, I couldn’t manage to continue. This still doesn’t do her memory justice, but I found the solace I needed to finally write this. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to fit everything I want to say, because the impact she had on my life doesn’t come close to being able to be described. She will always be my heart and soul, the light of my entire life and my future.
I have to thank all of the kind individuals who have reached out either once or numerous times to me, checking in on me and sharing their love, even if we never spoke. To see how much of an impact she had on so many people has brought me incomprehensible amounts of joy. So many of you brightened her life. Someone would compliment her, or someone would introduce themselves to her, or she would interact through RP with someone and she would be RAVING about it to me. All those little interactions made her giddy and brought her uncharted happiness.
I have to say the shrine and all of the lovely individuals who came and went in that faction gave her some of her most fond memories. So many times she would say to me how that place and the people she had the privilege to interact with brought her a sense of comfort and genuine smiles in times of heartache and struggle. Diving, you had such a special place in her heart. Xaavia, Kettle, Sho, Vit, and so many others, you were such bright beacons in her life. There were so many of our conversations that revolved around you guys and the absolute gems you were to her. Oh how she LOVED to pick on Sho. I know a lot of you know her love language was endearing bullying, and I think many of us can agree that was a source of humor we often sought.
There was something about her that made living worthwhile. The way she was an expert in comforting a wide variety of individuals, never hesitating to put them in front of her own state of mind. She might have been having the worst day imaginable and yet if you needed her, she was there. She never let her personal troubles interfere with the way she treated anyone else, and I think that is one of the most admirable qualities of her. That and her inhumane capability of spitting out advice. Oh, and her insane way to shoot out witty and sarcastic remarks like it was nobody’s business. (It always caught me off guard!)
I know it took me too long to finally say something. Truthfully, I don’t think I will ever be able to move on from the giant, gaping hole her passing has left in my heart. . .but in the wise words of a dear friend (Cal, this is about you!), she wouldn’t want me or any of her friends to lose themselves to their grief. No, she would be screaming and cheering for us to give life the biggest FUCK YOU in return and live our lives to the fullest. That’s what I plan on doing. We planned our entire lives together, and I’m going to go forward to achieve everything she aspired to. I’m going to do it all for her, the love of my life.
Thank you to everyone I met along the way on this server. If it weren’t for one of my dear friends Jay, I never would have met the woman who changed my life forever. Strange things can happen on a minecraft roleplay server. . .
Thank you to everyone who has shown me love. I hope if you have any memories of her, you’ll share them. I would love to talk about her. My discord is jeni1255. She will continue to be the light in my life, and I will hold the love we shared for the rest of my life.
I love you forever and always, my sweet girl.
I’d like to share some of our past, if you care to keep reading.
Our story started off pretty funny. I first met her through Jay, and through a group known as Kaku-Kai. At first she absolutely terrified me. She was confident and witty, and sometimes it was hard to tell when she was joking. But the more I got to know her, the less scary she became. Oh my gosh, pickles and calpico were her biggest joys. She was always eating a pickle, or if she wasn’t, she was always craving one. She also LOVED miso soup, her favorite dish to send me. We actually started off ‘fake dating’ when she learned someone was making me uncomfortable, and it kick started what later became the best relationship of my life. After a few weeks of the fake dating, the more we called and the more we got to know one another, we both noticed we grew to care for each other on a deeper level than friends. Thus, we started dating on October 17, 2022.
Saying she is my soulmate will never do our relationship justice. I may never find the words to accurately describe just what she meant to me. She strengthened me in ways I never would have been able to do with anyone else or on my own. I will always cherish her little quirks, the way I would be bombarded with anything that brought her joy, anger, amusement, sorrow, all the likes. We shared our love for nerding out over so many different games, shows, and movies. We would watch all sorts of videos together, and would regularly fall asleep watching Sam and Colby. I'll always cherish those moments, they were serene and beautiful. We learned how to read each other on an emotional level I thought was literally impossible. I never thought someone could understand me more than I understood myself, and how I could always tell when she needed some extra love - especially when there were days she couldn’t bring herself to talk about it. Our relationship was full of a nurturing love that left us both feeling safest with each other. We sought comfort in each other.
I’ll always wish I could have had more time with her. I’ll always regret not being able to live out the life we planned together. I will always mourn what could have been. I don't know how I'll get through each day now that they won't be spent with her. Every second we could, we were with each other. She was the one I turned to for anything, big or small, and she did the same with me. I don't think I'll ever want to get used to there being nothing but silence now, nothing to fill the void that is left.
But I will never regret loving her. I will never regret the time we shared and the memories we created. Anyone who knew her knew she was a firecracker. I know she’d be fuming if I let myself succumb to my grief and let it consume me. So, while I will always mourn her, I will go on to do everything she wanted to do. I will achieve everything I told her I wanted to do. I will achieve what we said we would do together.
It will all be for her.
ZEROs, Shrine, Kaku-Kai, Akihito, Tokugawas, and others, she loved each of you unconditionally. I wish I could name all of you, because she always had something special and unique to say about each of you and just exactly what she loved about you. Thank you for being there for her. Thank you for making her smile and laugh. Thank you for being moments of peace for her.
<3
I have to thank all of the kind individuals who have reached out either once or numerous times to me, checking in on me and sharing their love, even if we never spoke. To see how much of an impact she had on so many people has brought me incomprehensible amounts of joy. So many of you brightened her life. Someone would compliment her, or someone would introduce themselves to her, or she would interact through RP with someone and she would be RAVING about it to me. All those little interactions made her giddy and brought her uncharted happiness.
I have to say the shrine and all of the lovely individuals who came and went in that faction gave her some of her most fond memories. So many times she would say to me how that place and the people she had the privilege to interact with brought her a sense of comfort and genuine smiles in times of heartache and struggle. Diving, you had such a special place in her heart. Xaavia, Kettle, Sho, Vit, and so many others, you were such bright beacons in her life. There were so many of our conversations that revolved around you guys and the absolute gems you were to her. Oh how she LOVED to pick on Sho. I know a lot of you know her love language was endearing bullying, and I think many of us can agree that was a source of humor we often sought.
There was something about her that made living worthwhile. The way she was an expert in comforting a wide variety of individuals, never hesitating to put them in front of her own state of mind. She might have been having the worst day imaginable and yet if you needed her, she was there. She never let her personal troubles interfere with the way she treated anyone else, and I think that is one of the most admirable qualities of her. That and her inhumane capability of spitting out advice. Oh, and her insane way to shoot out witty and sarcastic remarks like it was nobody’s business. (It always caught me off guard!)
I know it took me too long to finally say something. Truthfully, I don’t think I will ever be able to move on from the giant, gaping hole her passing has left in my heart. . .but in the wise words of a dear friend (Cal, this is about you!), she wouldn’t want me or any of her friends to lose themselves to their grief. No, she would be screaming and cheering for us to give life the biggest FUCK YOU in return and live our lives to the fullest. That’s what I plan on doing. We planned our entire lives together, and I’m going to go forward to achieve everything she aspired to. I’m going to do it all for her, the love of my life.
Thank you to everyone I met along the way on this server. If it weren’t for one of my dear friends Jay, I never would have met the woman who changed my life forever. Strange things can happen on a minecraft roleplay server. . .
Thank you to everyone who has shown me love. I hope if you have any memories of her, you’ll share them. I would love to talk about her. My discord is jeni1255. She will continue to be the light in my life, and I will hold the love we shared for the rest of my life.
I love you forever and always, my sweet girl.
I’d like to share some of our past, if you care to keep reading.
Our story started off pretty funny. I first met her through Jay, and through a group known as Kaku-Kai. At first she absolutely terrified me. She was confident and witty, and sometimes it was hard to tell when she was joking. But the more I got to know her, the less scary she became. Oh my gosh, pickles and calpico were her biggest joys. She was always eating a pickle, or if she wasn’t, she was always craving one. She also LOVED miso soup, her favorite dish to send me. We actually started off ‘fake dating’ when she learned someone was making me uncomfortable, and it kick started what later became the best relationship of my life. After a few weeks of the fake dating, the more we called and the more we got to know one another, we both noticed we grew to care for each other on a deeper level than friends. Thus, we started dating on October 17, 2022.
Saying she is my soulmate will never do our relationship justice. I may never find the words to accurately describe just what she meant to me. She strengthened me in ways I never would have been able to do with anyone else or on my own. I will always cherish her little quirks, the way I would be bombarded with anything that brought her joy, anger, amusement, sorrow, all the likes. We shared our love for nerding out over so many different games, shows, and movies. We would watch all sorts of videos together, and would regularly fall asleep watching Sam and Colby. I'll always cherish those moments, they were serene and beautiful. We learned how to read each other on an emotional level I thought was literally impossible. I never thought someone could understand me more than I understood myself, and how I could always tell when she needed some extra love - especially when there were days she couldn’t bring herself to talk about it. Our relationship was full of a nurturing love that left us both feeling safest with each other. We sought comfort in each other.
I’ll always wish I could have had more time with her. I’ll always regret not being able to live out the life we planned together. I will always mourn what could have been. I don't know how I'll get through each day now that they won't be spent with her. Every second we could, we were with each other. She was the one I turned to for anything, big or small, and she did the same with me. I don't think I'll ever want to get used to there being nothing but silence now, nothing to fill the void that is left.
But I will never regret loving her. I will never regret the time we shared and the memories we created. Anyone who knew her knew she was a firecracker. I know she’d be fuming if I let myself succumb to my grief and let it consume me. So, while I will always mourn her, I will go on to do everything she wanted to do. I will achieve everything I told her I wanted to do. I will achieve what we said we would do together.
It will all be for her.
ZEROs, Shrine, Kaku-Kai, Akihito, Tokugawas, and others, she loved each of you unconditionally. I wish I could name all of you, because she always had something special and unique to say about each of you and just exactly what she loved about you. Thank you for being there for her. Thank you for making her smile and laugh. Thank you for being moments of peace for her.
<3
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