Hey Diary,
Life is.. tough.. but.. peaceful.
Ever since I decided to stay alone, I've had 0 drama, 0 heartbreak and 0 tears to shed.. despite it being utterly lonely.. It's.. peaceful. There are days when I wish I had someone with me.. someone who would cuddle me to sleep, kiss my forehead and tell me that everything will be okay, but I know that won't happen for a while anyway.
I've always wanted to be in love, grow old together, start a family, and get married, but I know that right now, with my condition, it's not something I can mentally tolerate.. something they cannot accept or tolerate. I hate living with one of the most misunderstood disorders, It's like a never-ending void, but only I can hear the screaming.
Maybe one day I'll decide to give love a try again, but for now, I think it's best I focus on myself, I just want to be happy. I need to find something to do with my life, after leaving track my mental health decreased severely. Maybe I should try making more friends.. but I might grow attached to them.. I don't want that to happen..
Maybe I should start therapy again.. but she no longer works there..
I'm so tired.
Ever since I decided to stay alone, I've had 0 drama, 0 heartbreak and 0 tears to shed.. despite it being utterly lonely.. It's.. peaceful. There are days when I wish I had someone with me.. someone who would cuddle me to sleep, kiss my forehead and tell me that everything will be okay, but I know that won't happen for a while anyway.
I've always wanted to be in love, grow old together, start a family, and get married, but I know that right now, with my condition, it's not something I can mentally tolerate.. something they cannot accept or tolerate. I hate living with one of the most misunderstood disorders, It's like a never-ending void, but only I can hear the screaming.
Maybe one day I'll decide to give love a try again, but for now, I think it's best I focus on myself, I just want to be happy. I need to find something to do with my life, after leaving track my mental health decreased severely. Maybe I should try making more friends.. but I might grow attached to them.. I don't want that to happen..
Maybe I should start therapy again.. but she no longer works there..
I'm so tired.
