➢Nozomi Sokolova
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( A song would play while you read this?!?!? HERE!!!)
A 22 year old Russian 7’4 female, her hair would be black and pinkish red and very curly, her eye would be blue but very dull making her eye seem lifeless almost. Her right eye would be a prosthetic. Her body would be very muscular.
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Nozomi was born on January 1st, 2000 where? Somewhere in Russia a town where she couldn't remember. Throughout Nozomi’s life she questioned herself, as in what she liked until a few years into her life she realized that she liked both men and women she’d been bisexual.
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Nozomi seemed to like to wear black crop tops a lot, seeming as she liked to show off her abs ( Show off bitch ugh ) it made her feel as if she was good lookin? She always knew in the end that she wasn’t good looking. Nozomi is a very honest girl. She lets everyone know how she feels, but if someone pushes her too far she becomes very hot-headed which happens a lot when it is to happen she flips out on anyone near her. Even though Nozomi can be hot-headed, she can also be very sweet even though her past home was very bad to her. Even with everything else Nozomi can also be jealous, Nozomi seems to always get jealous of a lover she doesn't like to see her lover with someone else who's better than her. Nozomi is easy to snap, she completely could care less who she hurts, it's not like they cared for when they hurt her.
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Nozomi’s Voice Claim
???
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Nozomi had always worn something random, such as a crop top or suit that just mattered how she felt. Nozomi grew up having a smoking and drinking problem, due to what her parents did to her at a young age she had been told she had bad depression and PTSD. Nozomi seemed to be a great listener and she seemed to be very good at telling when someone had lied to her, I mean it made sense her parents had always lied to her. Nozomi seemed to like to write little books for herself so she wouldn’t lose herself in life. Nozomi seemed to read stories to herself to make her feel safe, no one else really made her feel that way. She seemed to also listen to music more often, it had made her feel safe and ... not alone?
Nozomi's Fears
Herself
When Nozomi found out what she could do to others she started to get scared of herself. She seems to always repeat complete nonsense when she has realized that she had done something wrong. Nozomi hates the admit the fact that she is afraid of herself, she finds it stupid that shes scared of herself.
LOUD NOISES
Nozomi HATES loud noises, she easily gets scared now. She believes that every time she hears something loud something bad will happen. Nozomi covers her ears every time someone starts to yell or cause loud noises, she believes that if she covers her ears then everything will disappear.
Nozomi seems to not like yelling, people lying, herself, bright colors, seafood, yellow, and the words of “asshole”, “Whore”, and “Slut” being said towards her.
Nozomi does seem to like reading, writing, drawing, Medical facts, CATS, and the nickname of “Raspberry”.
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How Nozomi speaks about herself AKA just Nozomi going on about how she feels.
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" Myself? Hm, waste of time I guess. I wasn't supposed to be around at this point, I have been through so many things and I lived. What I was so mentally ill to the point I killed my own brother hah... I think Freddy was right about me. He had told me that I ruined many relationships, even his and his wife's relationship. I wish I was better, I tried so hard to change and I did. I changed but when I go to deal with problems the way I deal with them didn't change. I still find myself worthless. I so badly want to be gone or to at least finally be someone different. I want to be a good person for everyone. I wish that I didn't have to feel this so... lifeless. I wish I didn't have to go and beat people. I beat people I loved. I lost so many people, was it because I was such a shitty human being? Is dad proud of me for turning out to be like him? Did I really mean nothing to this world? All these thoughts keep repeating and I want them gone. I keep losing people everyday, where did I go wrong? I know I was always such a shitty person but I thought I got better.. I'm even trying to seek help now. I'm so confused of how I have not changed. I wanted to change but I knew every time I did I would lose someone. I am finally willing to give up people just so I can change, but why am I not changing? Why am I still suffering so much.. I don't want to suffer anymore. I just want to be happy once again. Why do people always steal my happiness? Why does everyone like to leave me behind? I no longer get it. Do I have to die just to get people to love and pay attention to me once again? Maybe that's it. It all makes sense of why no one wants me anymore, what? My own adoptive brother doesn't seem to care for me anymore. What? My other one never comes around either. I'm just so tired of being around and trying to stick to people who don't even love or care for me. When will I be happy and free again? I'm starting to be very sickened of myself, I found out that it was actually 4 times that I tried to leave this world. I'm so tired of myself, I think I try so much. Why do I try so much? I don't get it, people hurt me but I still return to them and treat them better than they treated me. I'm not gonna get anywhere in life if I continue to suffer this much. I'm making myself suffer but I blame it on others. I'm disappointed in myself. How does one stop hating themselves? I just want to be able to live with my friends, without making them scared of me doing something to myself. I'm going insane, I just want help. I keep talking to myself and act like other people are around me, when I'm just alone. I try so hard to live on with my suffering, but its all so hard. I can't leave this world though, people need me. I don't get why I live on for people who end up leaving me. I hate everything, people, this world, my feelings, and myself. How can I fix everything. I just want to know how to make everything I suffered from come to an end. How can I say I missed someone without saying I missed them. How can I say I missed how I used to be without saying so. God, why am I so stupid? Why was I made this way? Why was I even made? Why do people always give up on me? Am I really worthless? God, just kill me already. I am so fucking sick of everything. Why, why am I so.. ugly now.. I hate how I look.. Why do I have to look like this.. I wish.. I was as pretty as before.. Maybe I deserved to become ugly.. Maybe I deserved the pain I have gained over time. I feel as maybe I should turn myself in at this point, I mean I killed my own brother."
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Family
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Inessa Agapov | Mom | DEAD
“ I’m… I’M SORRY. You were somewhat good to me and … I brought you and papa more pain than intended. I’m sorry, I am dearly so sorry. I knew you only hurt me because of papa… but papa was upset because of me.. I’m sorry mama..”
Favorite quote from Inessa
"Did you watch the newest episode of Bubble Guppies?"
Nozomi responding to the quote
"I miss watching little kid shows with you mama, thinking of it makes me sad nowadays.."
Aloyoshenka Sokolova | Dad | DEAD
“ I hate you, but I’m sorry papa… I’m sorry they did those bad things to you. I’m sorry that at the end… that it all came to be at my fault.. I wish I was someone that you loved.. And someone who didn’t cause you trouble… I hope you . . . I don’t know.. I want to say I hope you rot in hell but.. You don’t deserve that.. Neither did mom. I love and hate you papa...“
Favorite quote from Aloyoshenka
"..."
Nozomi responding to the quote
"I have forgotten everything... about you... head been hurtie too mucchhhh!"
Ritsua 'PHOENIX' S. | BROTHER | DEAD
" I regret it. Oh how dearly I regret it all. I miss you, I know that you failed me in life but I failed you too. I failed you so dearly. I was never such a sister to you. I was never good to you. I thought I finally became a good person when you came into my life. I thought maybe since I finally had a real sibling I could change. I became worse because of that fact. I was never good enough. Your poor poor soul. I bet you hate me so dearly. What I have done is unspoken of. I no longer trust myself due to what I did to you. I wish I was better to you. Why did my anger grow so much when I found out you did it. God what I did made me hate myself and I am so so sorry. "
Favorite quote from Ritsua
" YOU WHAT? YOU ARE IN OUR MOTHER?!"
Nozomi responding to the quote
"Yes I was in our mother... I was in her WOMB."
Masako Y. Sokolova | Adoptive Daughter | ALIVE
"Ipad child, THE FIRST THING MY FRIENDS DO WITH YOU IS CALL YOU AN IPAD CHILD. WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK?!?! Anywho, I love you sweetheart, don't become like Momma Zomi! I am a very bad woman, so no being like momma!"
Favorite quote from Masako
"Can... me... get vbucks? with debit card????"
Nozomi responding to the quote
" I'll buy you vbucks soon."
Mei Adashi | Cousin | ALIVE
" MEI MEI MEI I LOVE YOUUUUUUU. FOREVER MY FAV! Thank you for getting me somewhere in life, if it wasnt for you I would be stuck on people, thank you for saving me Mei Mei."
Favorite quote from Mei
"Volleyball? Ball? Balls?"
Nozomi responding to the quote
"Vballs, we are balls...... yeah I'm done. "
Makoto ' May ' Hayashi | Past Adoptive Father | ALIVE
" I hate you. I really do hate your guts, I knew you raised me ever since I was 8 but why couldn't you show me how to treat people. Why couldn't you teach me to be a lover or a sibling. I wish you taught me more. I wanted to know more about how to live life. I want to know how to not give up. You never taught me how to live a real life. You raised me in a dream and you never let me leave that dream. Once I left that dream you left me. Where are you now huh? Raising more kids? You got better people in life? Are these people even better than your kids? Was I even important to you? Should I have just killed myself? How badly did you want us all gone? I really just wished that you had loved us or at least shown us that love. Julein really deserved love from you way more than me. He deserves everything but all you did was let me beat him. You ruined me and his relationship. Go suffer from being alone. "
Favorite quote from Makoto
"I don't even like Nozomi myself!"
Nozomi responding to the quote
"AGREEDDDD!"
Freddy A. V. Hayashi | Past Adoptive Brother | ALIVE
“ Thank you for inviting me to the wedding, I was happy that I got to sit in the front. Maybe you do care for me at some points.. I was just happy to see you and Luna be in love once again. I want to say I'm proud of you, I really am.“
Favorite quote from Freddy
"She's a whore, stop caring for her, you are strong and brave."
Nozomi responding to the quote
"... I wish I could listen to what.. you said.. but I'm stupid.."
Ina Y. V. Hayashi | Past Adoptive Sister | ALIVE
" When I saw you at the wedding I freaked, I mean I wasn't shocked that you were there but still.. seeing you act stupid made me feel as I was at home, Freddy was of course there but.. it felt as the family was there once again. "
Favorite quote from Ina
"YOU'RE PREGNANT?!"
Nozomi responding to the quote
" I should probably get pregnant, life would be better for me to be honest!"
Julein ' Jules ' Hayashi | Past Adoptive Brother | ALIVE
" I haven’t seen you in a while.. Are you becoming like the others? I wouldn’t be shocked.. Anywho.. Whatever. I generally could care less."
Favorite quote from Julein
"Nozomi save me, I think I'm being kidnapped."
Nozomi responding to the quote
"Its funny when Rin kidnaps you! Well- no well- yes but yeah!"
Akelah 'Ake' Hayashi | Past Adoptive Sister | ALIVE
" You’re just gone at this point. I don’t fucking care about you or .. anyone that is just disappearing like you. I tried very hard to take care of you. Guess everything I did was so very pointless eh? Maybe.. I should just stop trying at this point hm."
Favorite quote from Akelah
". . ."
Nozomi responding to the quote
"I forgot.. your voice... and the things you have said.. I'm sorry.."
Yume E. Hayashi | Past Adoptive Sister | ALIVE
" I don’t even know where you went. Do I care? Yeah no. You were never really around me."
Favorite quote from Yume
"Piggy backride?!"
Nozomi responding to the quote
" I wish I could still give you piggy backrides.. I miss being a sister."
'Zen' | Dog | ALIVE
" I need you. I need you to save me again. I’m suffering so much.. Why have you gone as well? When you return to momma.. I will make sure to never let you go again.. You’re the only living thing that hasn’t hurt me in any way… I believe it's just because of how I raised you. You were always such a good animal. I love you."
You have no quotes... you're a dog..
Amara Keigo | Ex-Girlfriend | ALIVE
" I guess this is the end, they are forcing me to forget about you. I wish I could of told you that I loved you one last time, but they gave me a timer... and they were forcing me to remove your contact... they really hate you. I'm sorry."
Favorite quote from Amara
". . ."
Nozomi responding to the quote
" I don't like remembering things you have said... You have upsetted me a lot, I rather not... become depressed again."
Luna Momoko | Past Sister in Law | ALIVE
“ I love you so dearly… You always took care of me.. You care for me more than Freddy does.. I don’t understand why .. you always took care of me.. You were like a sister to me.. Well I still feel as if you are a sister to me.. I’m sorry for every second I was so bad to you.. I will never do it again..“
Favorite quote from Luna
"Hot bikey girl!"
Nozomi responding to the quote
" Ah, some days I miss being called hot bikey girl, but I never became that biker girl that I wanted to be."
Lily Arquette | Ex - Girlfriend | ALIVE
"Weird. "
Favorite quote from Lily
"Bro? We're brothers now?"
Nozomi responding to the quote
" I must say, we would be dumb if we were guys and brothers..."
Bean 'Sunny' | Nozomi's cat for time BEING. | ALIVE?!?!?!?
" OOOHHHH BEANIEE!!! I MISSEDDD YOUU! MY LITTLE CUTIE !!! AWWWWWWWWHHHHHHH"
You're a cat...
Shere Swagolini | Cousin | ALIVE
" you were right, I'll start to believe you more now. Thank you for always taking care of me. I love you so dearly, you're like a sister to me. Thank you."
Favorite quote from Shere
"We're hot baes, you're a hot bae! I'm a hot bae!"
Nozomi responding to the quote
"WOOOOO WE REALLY ARE HOT BAES!"
Suki E. Takahara | Ex-Fiancée | ???
" I sometimes think about you, I think about how things could of turned out. I do miss you sometimes. But I felt as a toy to you. You never really loved me though. I knew all you wanted was my ring but... why..? Why never try anything with me. I asked for you to spend time with me and you just asked to something else instead. Then if I went off to ask if I could hang out with a friend you would say no. You let me suffer a lot. I tried very hard to show you love and everything and you just didn't want any of that."
Favorite quote from Suki
"Fight me, and no, not play fighting."
Nozomi responding to the quote
" She knew I hated fighting, this is one of the reasons why I left."
Diana ??? | Ex-Girlfriend | ???
" I'm sorry I left you so quickly, I just.. wasn't in love with you. I'm really sorry, I didn't mean to hurt you in any type way possible. "
Favorite quote from Diana
"I love you and this axe."
Nozomi responding to the quote
" Good ol' times, she said that right after fucking me!"
Fujikoa 'PHOENIX' Gengyo | ??? | ALIVE
" I’m… sorry.. I took out so much anger on you just because you liked.. Me and I’m sorry for everything I have done.."
Favorite quote from Fuji
"I fucked your wii!"
Nozomi responding to the quote
" ... He then went on to fuck my cousin!"
Chiyuki | Bird | ALIVE
" Cooking you. "
Favorite quote from Chiyuki
"SUMIRE BITCH"
Nozomi responding to the quote
" I mean Amara is kind of a bitch, so, I wished I agreed to it back then!"
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Friends
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Camila S. Koijin | Best Friend | ALIVE
"Gay gay gay gay and a hottie TO BE HONEST."
Favorite quote from Camila
"IPAD KIDDD!!"
Nozomi responding to the quote
" Stop chasing my poor baby around and calling her an Ipad child.."
Bartholomew Koijin | GUH | ALIVE
"Mama?"
Favorite quote from Bartholomew
"GUH."
Nozomi responding to the quote
"Guh is the dumbest shit I have heard in my whole life."
Delilah Tsukumo | ??? | ALIVE
"You got back with your ex."
Favorite quote from Delilah
"...."
Nozomi responding to the quote
"..."
Kamdo Alto Remissivo-Takahara " Pinkie Pie " | Best Friend | ALIVE
" Thank you.. for always being here for me.. Thank you for taking care of me.. I will never be able to repay you for the things you have done for me.. You will always be my short pinkie pie.. You will always be my favorite.. I love you so much. "
Favorite quote from Kamdo
"It's my turn to be on top."
Nozomi responding to the quote
" When he said that I was really confused.. on top?"
Denji Chenco Gyakusatsu | Best Friend | ALIVE
" Bum bummie! Love you man.. Come around again soon.. It would be nice seeing you once again.."
Favorite quote from Denji
"..."
Nozomi responding to the quote
" I forgot .. much.. of Denji.. "
Guztavo O. Deasun | Best friend | DEAD
"Hey bud, um, I'm sorry, I hope you. . . I don't know, you're gone now, the one person who tried to support me, and now you're dead, gone. I'm sorry I never cared for you, I'll miss you dearly, I'll come visit your shrine, I'll tell you about my tourments... my games.. oh my.. why do you have to be gone? I'm lost now, what do I do? Do I have to forgive you? Cause oh boy, I forgive you.. please... please I need you. I miss you so so much, I really need you... God... I need you so I don't suffer, taking care of a child and.... taking care of my siblings and other people is such a pain, when I don't have you. "
Favorite quote from Guztavo
" She is hot!"
Nozomi responding to the quote
" I'm always hot!!"
"Keith" R. Tamashi | Best Friend | ALIVE
" I will spit on you until you find it fucking disgusting. I will make sure all of your ugly blue hair is GONE. Anywho, you have my heart in a FRIEND way. Ruin our friendship once and I WILL cut your throat. It wouldn't be the first time I would of done it to someone. Anywhoooo I love your dumbass self."
Favorite quote from Keith
" Cripple down....!"
Nozomi responding to the quote
"I miss being a cripple some days...."
Dae-Hyun Jin | Best Friend | ALIVE
" You are really cool. You seemed to call me princess which I found quite weird but ok! Call me that again cause I am most def a princess. Anywho I love the fact you are around just to help and to also be my cool motherfucking bestie. To be honestttt I like you more than Denji!! You're not a pain in the ass like him. "
Favorite quote from Dae-Hyun
". . ."
Nozomi responding to the quote
" I really forgot everything .. you have said..."
Lucy V. Lacrosse | Friend | ALIVE
“ I felt as if you never cared about me.. I wouldn’t be shocked if you really didn't care for me.“
Favorite quote from Lucy
" . . . "
Nozomi responding to the quote
"Uhh so .. I only remember your actions.. you know... when you licked... my abs...'"
Max Arquette | Friend | ALIVE
" We were such good friends… but your sister is an asshole.. So I ain’t want to hangout with you anymore.. Sorry?"
Favorite quote from Max
" . . . "
Nozomi responding to the quote
" I don't like remembering you.."
Chiharu 'haru' Himura | ??? | ALIVE
" Fuck you? I don’t know.. I haven’t seen you in so long and you kinda.. Just gross me out? I don’t know but whatever. I kinda don't care for you anymore.."
Rin Lee | ??? | ALIVE
"I kinda really don’t care for you anymore.. I’m sorry.. We just lost the bond that we once had.. I hope life does you good.. I still really am sorry "
Natsuo Larcune | Friend | DEAD
“ . . . I'll . . . miss you . . . “
Akuno Onaona | Friend | ALIVE
" You're quite the weird one and you really scare me to be honest. "
Danuja 'Danu' Ashikaga | Friend | ALIVE
"GAYYYYY!!... actually no I’m sorry. "
Aleksander ??? | Friend | ALIVE
" Where… my gay boy at? I miss you .. We were really close and then you never came back again.."
Jasmine 'Jazz' Arquette | Friend | ALIVE
" You generally scare me and I’m happy I haven’t seen you in a while!"
Dino Aaragon | Friend | ALIVE
" You're so annoying and I wish you were gone some days but you let me hangout with you a lot so you KINDA cool I guess. I mean... I also like to KO you a lot so whateve. ALSO LIKE REMEMBER WHEN YOU BASHED MY HEAD IN??? That was like so fun we should do it again!! "
Calla 'Lily' ?? ?? | Friend | ALIVE
" I’m so sorry my poor poor Calla.. I never meant to scare you .. you deserve a better friend.. I love you.."
Genkei 'Kei' Inoue | Friend | ALIVE
" Annoying, bratty, and loud. "
Music!!
Doja Cat - Woman
Vacation Bible School
girl in red - girls
Ginuwine - So Anxious
Feel better - Penelope Scott
No Surprises - Radiohead
Hrs & Hrs - Muni Long
Diet Mountain Dew - Lana Del Rey
All I Need - Lloyd
Doin' Time - Lana Del Rey
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Backstory
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YOUNGER NOZOMI
[Mentions of Abuse & Self-harm]
HIGH SCHOOL YEARS
When Nozomi hit her teen ages she went to the Highschool of Karakura, she was picked on by many people due to her height. Many people had started to force things onto her, they had did this because she seemed very weak and alone. Nozomi started to focus on many different studies in her classes. She had started to focus in all of her classes so she could gain something. She had got into a relationship with a female named Suki, they were close at first but had then fell apart. She started to lose the care in paying attention to her classes, even to the point she had started to skip classes. She started to slip onto a drinking problem, this made her feel better and it made her forget that people were leaving her. She had started to mess with people. People thought of Nozomi as a player, she started to just go with what people were saying. As she realized that she needed to focus on classes, and that her grades were dropping, she started to drop the life she was living just to focus on studying. After all of her hard work she went into college with no troubles.
SOME YEARS BEFORE
BEGINNING OF COLLEGE YEARS
PRESENT TIME
Nozomi speaking on her life
"Well.. Kitty is dead... and I can't stand.. um.. the fact I wasn't there for him.. I blame myself.. for everything you know? I keep repeating things in my head, driving myself insane again.. I haven't seen my kid in a week.. am I ... a bad mom? I just.. don't know anymore. I can't stop thinking of Amara, and it drives me way more insane than anything else in my shitty life, god I hate her but I don't at the same time. Freddy tries to make me feel strong, he tells me I'm brave or I'm better than this, but am I really? I mean look at me! I don't even know where my kid is at! God, I am so shitty.. I made new friends.. but .. I only did it so I wasn't alone.. I just wished.. I don't know? That I was a good person?? Luna tells me I'm sweet and a good thing that has happened to her, but is that really true? Is anything really true? I started to play volleyball for the volleyball team, it makes me happy for the first time ever, maybe my life is coming together, maybe I'm actually getting... better! I don't know, maybe I'm right.. maybe I'm... wrong.. I'll stop speaking now, maybe that's whats best.. I'm starting to feel really lonely, maybe I should leave for awhile, no one really cares or likes me, and I need a break, break from my family, even my child. I really liked Delilah, but she went back to her ex, so I guess I should just... forget my feelings I guess or whatever.. "
"Well.. Kitty is dead... and I can't stand.. um.. the fact I wasn't there for him.. I blame myself.. for everything you know? I keep repeating things in my head, driving myself insane again.. I haven't seen my kid in a week.. am I ... a bad mom? I just.. don't know anymore. I can't stop thinking of Amara, and it drives me way more insane than anything else in my shitty life, god I hate her but I don't at the same time. Freddy tries to make me feel strong, he tells me I'm brave or I'm better than this, but am I really? I mean look at me! I don't even know where my kid is at! God, I am so shitty.. I made new friends.. but .. I only did it so I wasn't alone.. I just wished.. I don't know? That I was a good person?? Luna tells me I'm sweet and a good thing that has happened to her, but is that really true? Is anything really true? I started to play volleyball for the volleyball team, it makes me happy for the first time ever, maybe my life is coming together, maybe I'm actually getting... better! I don't know, maybe I'm right.. maybe I'm... wrong.. I'll stop speaking now, maybe that's whats best.. I'm starting to feel really lonely, maybe I should leave for awhile, no one really cares or likes me, and I need a break, break from my family, even my child. I really liked Delilah, but she went back to her ex, so I guess I should just... forget my feelings I guess or whatever.. "
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