ToStarsWeReturn
Level 2
[The screen would display a close up of a variety of baked goods and sweets on a counter before cutting to Etsuba and a special guest sitting in the clubroom]
“Hello everyone! Today I’m joined by Beetle Lyakoya and we’ll be taste testing some of the sweets at the 11-7 behind the school! In short, how to get a sugar high on a budget!”
[Etsuba would turn to Beetle before beginning]
“Do you have any words of wisdom before we begin, Beetle?”
“All I know is I'm gonna get my munchy crunchy on!”
[Beetle said while rubbing their hands together excitedly]
“First up we have…”
[Etsuba would reach into his bag pulling out the first snack whilst saying]
“A Strawberry cake! This can be found for 2,500 yen at 11-7 and is a Strawberry flavored cake with vanilla icing, chocolate details and strawberries on the outside. It's even in the shape of a bunny!”
[Etsuba would take a slice off pass the rest of the plated cake over to Beetle who would bite off half of the cake, swallow, then begin to speak]
“On the cronch scale it does not fair well, However my grumbly tummy likies. 9/10 would get a sugar high”
[Beetle would eat the other half as Etsuba would stare wide eyed, look to the camera, then looking back at Beetle]
“Alrighty then!... Next up we have a pink donut! A sweet treat for only 375 yen with pink strawberry icing and lots of sprinkles to add a little texture to your snack!”
[Etsuba would tear the donut in half and hand over the other half of said donut to Beetle who would snatch it away… Staring intently at the sprinkly goodness… Beetle would proceed by practically inhaling the donut leaving no sprinkle behind]
“Color pretty, munch good, though not as big as cake... 8/10”
[Etsuba would sit there not having had a chance to even take a bite of his donut. Beetle would stare intently with a smile on his face]
“Are you gonna eat that?”
[Etsuba, clearly terrified, handed over the donut without a word… Beetle nearly biting off Etsuba’s hand ate the entire half donut with another single bite]
“Thank you”
[Beetle said between chews]
“Ice cream sandwich…?”
[Etsuba said handing it over with a meter stick. Beetle took the ice cream sandwich off the meter stick and began to gauge how much ice cream storage they had in their mouth as Etsuba stared blankly. Silence filled the room until Beetle finally spoke]
“7/10”
[Etsuba nodded slowly and again with the meter stick would hand Beetle a blue lolli beetle would laugh malevolently]
“Now this is a worthy opponent…”
[Etsuba backed away slowly]
[Beetle practically unhinged their jaw and deepthroated the popsicle which slowly slid down their throat… stick and all… and when beetle tried to take the stick out he began to choke]
“COUGH COUGH”
“BEETLE-”
[Beetle fell on the floor and Etsuba began jumping on Beetle’s back in panic. The stick dislodged in one ungodly cough and the room went silent. Beetle sat up and looked up at Etsuba who was now sitting down and slightly traumatized, probably requiring several years of therapy]
“11/10.”
[Etsuba stood there in blank shock for a moment before standing up yelling something censored for your safety at beetle and then leaving the room. Beetle then turned to the camera and smiled up close and personal before cutting the camera which switched to a scene with a Etsuba sitting alone in the clubroom]
“Alrighty then… Make sure to let me know which snacks you like best and which ones you'd like me to review next! Now I'm going to take a 18 hour nap… Have a great day everyone and thanks for joining me!”
[Etsuba turned off the camera, concluding this traumatic report]