ceruleanrocket
Level 11
I don't normally post or comment much on the forums. But It felt so wrong and ill-mannered of me to sit and grieve quietly.
For those of you who aren't aware, yesterday we lost an incredible woman, Roosian or Akiyo as many knew her by. She meant a huge amount to me and I have so much to thank her for.
I've decided to make this post in memorial of her, to dedicate everything I have to this woman and more, and I know she will continue to help me grow even further as a person even in her rest.
I met Akiyo October 2022. I was a brand new recruit to Kaku-kai and to be honest, I was absolutely terrified of joining a gang that wasn't Akihito. Admittedly, I was placed there as a spy of sorts to get information, but during my time there I had the honour of meeting one of the best people in my life, and that was Akiyo. Within a matter of seconds I had an onslaught of questions thrown my way in an interrogation, and in an even shorter spam of time she had nicknamed me her Yakuza wife and we bonded over the fact she was once in Akihito too.
I was extremely well welcomed thanks to Akiyo, who had shown nothing but support from the side lines despite not knowing me much at all. We shared our love for cooking and food with one another, talked about our life stories for hours and very soon our friendship had been sealed away and we were an inseparable pair.
I love everything about this woman. From her out of pocket comments and insane way of thinking, how quick and well judged she was to people's characters and safety, to her outlandish spending habits on her friends that I now wish I thanked her harder for. These were just the first things I truly admired for her.
Akiyo was the type of friend you had who actually I didn't rp with a ton. We had loads, don't get me wrong; However we were way closer OOCly then ICly. Despite this however, our characters Skylar and Emiko had a long shared history, and her influence on both myself and my characters has had a tremendous amount of help in shaping them into who we are today. She changed my outlook on alot of things. I was insecure, extremely distrusting of people and consistently on edge about how I was being perceived, and despite all of this she would sit and rant and ramble paragraphs after paragraphs about her thoughts and views on me as a person. If you knew Akiyo at all, she was NOT afraid to say what she thought. She called out my negatives, and screamed out my positives for everyone to see. Every ounce of confidence and ease I have today is all to her. I'd be nowhere without that help.
She was such a jokester. I remember the day she admitted to stalking my namemc and steam [and insta -_-] for when I'd return to SRP. Normally that would have been a yikes, block, get out kinda moment but instead It was the most cared for I had ever felt, period. Not once in all my 20 years of living has anyone come close to that level of attention and detail towards me, that I actually cried for around an hour after finding that out.
She made an effort. She'd tune into my shit twitch streams and sit and watch me play for hours, chatting away the whole time or clipping my reactions to things. Her devotion to loving pickles, How dedicated she was to friendships and loved ones, how carefree, blunt-minded and incredibly funny she was, were all even more reasons for my admiration to grow towards her.
We never argued once. We'd bicker, countless of times, but it was always impossible to get angry of any level at her.
Some of my favourite moments:
The day a certain individual sent me a very long message in a public chat was not a good day for me. I was called countless of things that won't be resaid, but regardless, Akiyo was the first person to message and check in on me. They comforted me, listened to everything I had to say and gave back her own words. That alone was enough for me, but she took it a step further and made it a goal of hers to cheer me up. How you ask? Oh you know, the normal! She set her pfp and banner to my face in the old Akihito discord and showered me in compliments. It turned into an incredible memory for me that I will never forget and will always bring up whenever I can.
My second fond memory is actually an IC incident. She had teased and messed with the idea of Skylar Tsu and Emiko Tokugawa being star crossed lovers from a different time line, even doing some 'Fanservice' ship moments just out of pocket. One time a character who had some beef with her character decided to shove her forward as the two of us were talking about god knows what. Instead of getting angry or starting a brawl right then and there, she used the opportunity to be silly; Falling forward an stealing a kiss from Skylar Tsu herself. It was hilarious, even if Skylar wasn't the most pleased.
Despite climbing the ranks of communities, I had never viewed Akiyo or Emiko as someone lower ranked. They were once my higherup, and I made it a strict policy to continue to view them as such. She'd always chew my ear off for it, but it again; Showed me how much she really cared about everything.
I don't have many screenshots of our times together through SRP. I have silly pieces of Art work she found or created herself, and I have the privilege of having our dms both on discord and instagram as a forever saved time capsule. Images of both myself and her, the things she loved and enjoyed, the food she created and the people in her life all in one space. I couldn't ask for more.
Theres alot of things people tend to regret. I myself had grown into a very regretful person. Akiyo gave me so many life lessons, one of which being if you can bother feeling regretful for your actions or words, you can bother with fixing it for the next time.
Theres so much more I want to ramble on about, but knowing Aki she'd be screaming at me to shut up long before this.
So without any regret, Please rest well Akiyo. My wife <3
If anyone reading this is suffering or going through things alone, please please reach out. To your friends, to a helpline - Anyone. I swear it to you, people care far more then you will ever be able to imagine. Talk to your friends when you're having a low day. Communicate and express your emotions, because friends are your boosters to get your through your days, just the same as you would hope to be your friend's shoulder through tough times. I too, will be doing a more conscious effort to do so.
[Enjoy my favourite quotes from Akiyo <3]
she was loving i swear T_T
[Really struggled finding a photo that didn't show her face T_T]- Cerulean. <3
