Den “Wick” Celestiasume:
“Howdy folks! Welcome back to my broadcast! No wacky sounds this time, I got something special for you this time, as per usual, and it’s SERIOUS! Y’know how last time we talked with the leader, sorry, EX-leader of the Redwood team? Well, turns out that the Redwoods are not as innocent as I, sorry, WE initially thought, huh? Imma play back a recording of my interview with the Bobcat Baseball Team as we go through their harrowing experiences regarding the Redwoods, including some pretty embarrassing anecdotes involving the leadership of Redwoods too!”
[!] The sound of a tape recorder’s click could be heard, followed by some whirring, before…
“Howdy folks! Welcome back to my broadcast! No wacky sounds this time, I got something special for you this time, as per usual, and it’s SERIOUS! Y’know how last time we talked with the leader, sorry, EX-leader of the Redwood team? Well, turns out that the Redwoods are not as innocent as I, sorry, WE initially thought, huh? Imma play back a recording of my interview with the Bobcat Baseball Team as we go through their harrowing experiences regarding the Redwoods, including some pretty embarrassing anecdotes involving the leadership of Redwoods too!”
[!] The sound of a tape recorder’s click could be heard, followed by some whirring, before…
[???]:
“HI YOUTUBE… I’m joking.”
[???]:
“Welcome back to my youtube lets play.”
[???]:
“Ahh yes, my minecraft lets play!”
[???]:
“Today we’ll be playing fortnit- Oh…”
[???]:
“I didn’t know we were playing that… Excuse my team.”
[???]:
“Welcome back to youtube! Today we’re gonna talk about my traumatizing experience in Redwoods!”
Den “Wick” Celestiasume:
“PFFT- Alrighty, where are we starting?”
[???]:
“I’ll start!”
Den “Wick” Celestiasume:
“Cool! Could’ja give your name to the listeners, please?”
'Curry':
”My name is Curry, I am a member of the Bobcat’s Baseball Team!”
Den “Wick” Celestiasume:
“Sweet! So, what’s your gripe with Redwoods? I’ve heard things between Bobcats and Redwoods have become… Tense, to say the least.”
'Curry':
“Yes, very much so! I have my teammates with me, Viridis and Nevaeh, and a former member of Redwoods, Gio!”
Den “Wick” Celestiasume:
“Pleasure to meet you lot.”
Viridis:
“It is quite certainly a pleasure to be here.”
'Curry':
“We saw the last interview you had with their former captain and the rivalry is something we necessarily didn’t ask for.”
Den “Wick” Celestiasume:
“Ahh, I see. What exactly transpired between you two?”
'Curry':
“It all started when he tried out for the baseball team and ultimately got rejected. From my understanding, he already had Redwoods going and was formerly a dodgeball team but quickly changed to a baseball team later.”
Viridis:
“For the record it was the old captain, Hiroki.”
Den “Wick” Celestiasume:
“Was this switch to baseball after he got rejected from Bobcat Baseball?”
Nevaeh:
“Yeah.”
'Curry':
“Yessir, it was immediately after he got rejected.”
Den “Wick” Celestiasume:
“Seems like someone didn’t take rejection lightly…”
Nevaeh:
“Also keep in mind that the old captain tried to get a private tryout after he was rejected…”
Den “Wick” Celestiasume:
“Seems like he was a bit… How do you say… Desperate?”
'Curry':
“Yessir - Ever since then, we haven’t seen much of him. But, we do now know Redwood’s have a new captain and do we have a LOT to say on him? For example, we swirlied him ONE TIME because he would bother us a lot. Later on in the day, he started provoking me and Viridis and was talking a lot of trash about our team, saying we couldn’t fight and Subaru was not good. Viridis has some stuff to say, if he may speak…”
Viridis:
“A few days later, he decides to get his ‘henchmen’ to beat me up.”
Den “Wick” Celestiasume:
“Henchmen? What’s this, the mafia?”
Viridis:
“Well, not actual henchmen. He has this… delusion that he must beat up the other teams to get the upper hand. Anyway, I believe this was an extremely cowardly thing to do, let alone, the fact he decided to do this on school grounds. We also have photos of the injuries, as well.”
Den “Wick” Celestiasume:
“Oh? May I see?”
[!] Silence…
Den “Wick” Celestiasume:
“Jesus-”
Den “Wick” Celestiasume:
“Allbecauseofbaseballwhatthe[BLEEP]???”
'Curry':
“I would like to add on a bit more!”
Den “Wick” Celestiasume:
“Hm?”
'Curry':
“This happened recently but my wife and I were at the private gym and Tristan, who is a member of the Redwoods, and Shuichi, the new leader of the Redwoods, pull up and try to beat me up. Pathetic attempt! Later on, Tristan, who was also formerly on our team fought on of my wife’s teammates, saying some pretty messed up remarks. In fact, I have a video…”
[!] Very tinny quality audio of some sort of kerfuffle, followed by Den making cringing noises
'Curry':
“This was the result of the comment that Tristan made.”
Den “Wick” Celestiasume:
“What did Tristan say, exactly?”
'Curry':
“Tristan was saying that he was better built than this woman, saying that she can’t do shit. Meanwhile, Shuichi was on the other side, saying something like ‘Look at these Karens’.”
[!] Shocked and appalled Den noises
'Curry':
“Yeah, shoutout to the Female HS Volleyball Team for stepping up and helping us! There’s more, though - We have a former Redwoods teammate who would like to talk up about his experience with the team. Gio?”
[!] Uncomfortable laugh from ‘Gio’
'Gio':
“Yes… I was in the Redwoods for only one day, which was… horrific. I still cringe to myself every time I remember his dumb attempts to woo me. I joined because I was desperate for baseball practice, I never signed up for the unwanted attention from him. Over the course of only one day, I had rejected him FOUR TIMES!! It was very creepy and… weird! It felt like he invited me into his team just so he could trap me in this cramped apartment… and make inappropriate advances towards me..!”
'Curry':
“Let's go Bobcats! Let's go Bobcats!”
Den “Wick” Celestiasume:
“W-... Wow. That is… a lot to take in.”
'Gio':
“Yeah, I know… Imagine how I felt, just a poor boy who wanted to play some baseball…”
Den “Wick” Celestiasume:
“So, anything memorable from his… Advances?”
[!] It sounded like someone in the room was playing on their phone. They don't seem to be winning…
'Gio':
“After the third time I rejected him, we went back to the apartment after trying to play basketball. He sighed, went upstairs, came back downstairs AND HE WAS HALF-NAKED!! H-He then invited me to go swimming when it was already, like, 3 AM?!”
[!] It sounded like ‘Gio’ shuddered…
'Gio':
“God- I was sooooo uncomfortable at that point- especially when we were both in such a cramped space..!”
Den “Wick” Celestiasume:
“Oh. My. God. This is a worrying pattern. From what I’m hearing, Shuichi cannot take no for an answer. Not in baseball, certainly not in his love life either!”
'Curry':
“This isn't from long ago but… he tried to spray us with a water gun that was filled with paint. In fact, I think Gio is still dirty from the paint that was shot at him.”
Den “Wick” Celestiasume:
“Oh, right! I was there for that. I kinda zonked out beforehand so I had no idea what the buildup to that was.”
'Curry':
“Yeah, we tried to tell him to leave but he refused to until we had to MAKE him!”
Viridis:
“When he beat me up… I woke up in a dark… locker, in the boys locker room.”
'Curry':
“Yeah, I had to go and pick him up.”
Viridis:
“My face was wet and my eye, for some reason, was extremely sore. It felt as if my face was dipped into the toilet and ‘swirlied’ as people say. I do not know for certain because I was knocked out but I do believe that was the case. The fact that they would get their team to knock me out shows the amount of cowardice in their ranks.”
Den “Wick” Celestiasume:
“It seems almost premeditated…”
Viridis:
“I believe Tristan Ichibangase was all behind this. I was texted by him, saying to meet at the baseball field because they had ‘articles on the Redwoods’. I came, raising an eyebrow to such a sudden request. Anyway, on the evening of the same day, I get another call from Tristan, saying that he got ‘falsely accused of beating someone up and received detention’. I replied ‘because maybe you did?’ and hung up the phone, ultimately blocking such a petty, cowardly person. And that was that.”
Den “Wick” Celestiasume:
“Let's talk more about this Tristan character… What exactly happened to lead to him switching over to the Redwoods?”
[!] The phone game noises would stop for a brief moment
Nevaeh:
“I would like to take this over. Tristan rarely showed up to practices and would always goof around both in and out of the practices he did attend, which ultimately led to him getting kicked off the team. I’d also like to add that whenever a fight broke out, he’d begin to record all in the hopes of making us look bad.”
[!] Silence before a return to the phone game noises, followed by an onslaught of death noises. Whoever was playing those games was evidently not very good…
'Curry':
“I believe that’s all we have to say about Redwoods. May I send out a message?”
Den “Wick” Celestiasume:
“Sure! Go right ahead.”
'Curry':
“To anyone that is currently listening in, if you do get an offer to join Redwoods, don’t accept it unless you want to be called by Shuichi’s mommy who just so happens to be in the KPD. And…”
'Gio':
“GET CREEPED ON!”
'Curry':
“Shuichi’s [BLEEP] is small, it’s the size of this WALNUT except WAY SMALLER! And, Redwoods, leave the Bobcats and maybe even THE SPARTANS alone. No one wants ANYTHING to do with y’all. Shuichi, you are not getting hoes anytime soon.”
[???]:
“Chronically bitchless.”
[???]:
“For real.”
[!] Applause could be heard echoing throughout the room.
Viridis:
“Pure poetry”
Den “Wick” Celestiasume:
“Alright, final thing. This is just a formality.”
'Curry':
“Shoot.”
Den “Wick” Celestiasume:
“Do you guys have any song requests? It’s just a thing I do for guests on my show.”
'Curry':
“How about ‘The Boys Are Back’ from High School Musical 3?”
'Gio':
“YES!! VOUCH!”
Nevaeh:
“Yessssss slay!”
Viridis:
“Indeed.”
Nevaeh:
“High School Musical slaps!”
Den “Wick” Celestiasume:
“Well, it’s not the weirdest request I’ve had on my broadcast.”
Nevaeh:
“It’s the best request, you’re welcome.”
Den “Wick” Celestiasume:
“Once again, thanks for coming in. It’s important that we get both sides of this story.”
'Gio':
“Of course.”
'Curry':
“Thanks for having us.”
Viridis:
“It was quite certainly a pleasure to be here."
'Gio':
“BYE!”
Nevaeh:
“Hopefully we won't need to come in here again for these reasons, but I’m sure we will.”
Viridis:
“WHAT DO WE THINK OF REDWOODS?”
[Curry, Gio & Virdis]:
“[BLEEP] THE REDWOODS!”
Nevaeh:
“Huh- oh yeah… [BLEEP] the Redwoods.”
[!] The tape recording would stop, before…
Den “Wick” Celestiasume:
“Well, that’s that! I never expected the Redwoods to be bad guys in this situation”
Den “Wick” Celestiasume:
“ILiedITotallySawThisComing”
Den “Wick” Celestiasume:
“I hope you enjoyed this broadcast, remember to high-five me whenever you see me and call me nice words, such as ‘cool’, or ‘not-annoying’. I’d like to thank Karma for dumping her weird brother onto me, real cool move there dude, and Ritsu, for being cool! Have fun listening to this weird song which the Bobcat Baseball Team requested, for some reason…”
[!] NOW PLAYING: The Boys Are Back
“Well, that’s that! I never expected the Redwoods to be bad guys in this situation”
Den “Wick” Celestiasume:
“ILiedITotallySawThisComing”
Den “Wick” Celestiasume:
“I hope you enjoyed this broadcast, remember to high-five me whenever you see me and call me nice words, such as ‘cool’, or ‘not-annoying’. I’d like to thank Karma for dumping her weird brother onto me, real cool move there dude, and Ritsu, for being cool! Have fun listening to this weird song which the Bobcat Baseball Team requested, for some reason…”
[!] NOW PLAYING: The Boys Are Back
