Shira Maeng is the second character I've ever created, right behind Moriel Maeng. She's a girl who struggles with anger issues, with speech patterns that are abrasive and vulgar in nature. A facade, for the most part, as she wouldn't lift a finger against anyone. Being stubborn and combative is her means of fighting against feelings of vulnerability and the slight fear of becoming emotionally connected with people. She struggles with the feelings of regret and the loneliness that comes with pushing everyone away and hiding in isolation. Part of her character development is realizing the effects of a foul tongue, and the guilt that comes with being on the verbal offense. And most importantly, recognizing you only have so many times to express that you care about someone before you lose them.
Her "soft side" is very reserved. Confined within the solitude of her room are plushies she adores. As part of her ongoing facade, she tends to keep her acts of kindness sealed from recognition: She'll try to look after people she cares about without them noticing.
The reason she's difficult to play is because the abrasive exterior she puts up is the first impression to most characters she interacts with:
- Characters will naturally be reluctant to interact with someone who's initially verbally hostile, so finding opportunities for character development is difficult and few! Furthermore, as she warms up to someone, her means of expressing it is subtle (e.g. Her language becomes more insulting towards the environment rather than the person. Such as, "That's stupid." vs "You're stupid.") But with developing fondness being so discrete, it becomes difficult for characters to realize it's even there.
- I feel a little bad myself sometimes! As someone who was raised to keep manners, someone with a harsh and aggressive tone is something I'm naturally unfamiliar with.
- There's been a handful of times I've witnessed where people seem to mix OOC emotions into their character's reactions to IC insults. I've unfortunately felt the need to adapt my action style to make it clear that it is just a character. (e.g. /me fueled her short-temper into an insult uncalled for, "Nice going, idiot.") It creates this sort of "narrator explains" vibe to the actions that I'm not necessarily a fan of for this specific character, but I do so to avoid those situations. Part of the difficulty is phrasing to keep the peace!