I am too stupid to understand if this is a joke or if you actually somehow did that, but I need it now

Hello there, hope your all having a good night or day (10:37 PM as of writing this) it's a pleasure to be typing this and it will be a pleasure to meet you all, allow me to introduce myself: my name is SimonTheRat (Simon if you like just don't call me Simmons) and I’m just a simple person I...