11/04/2022
Umeda Kame, Senior Reporter
After my past interview with Bao Koji, I found Alex Koji, former mayor! Seeing as Bao had A LOT to say about the family, I decided to see if Alex had anything to say in the matter. Trust me, he has a lot to say also. I find thing whole interview quite interesting, and I'm sure you will too!
**[RECORDING START]**
U.K:“Alright Koji, we all know the news of your brother's return… to start this off, what was your original thought hearing this?”
A.K: “Well . .. To be entirely honest, sincere, and transparent . . . It was something along the lines of ‘Oh for fucks sake’. It wasn’t exactly a joyous headline to look at.”
U.K: “I’d assume so, Bao did abuse his daughter, and from what I’ve heard around the town and various anonymous websites, that he’s done it to other female kin. Did you at any point attempt to speak to him prior to the situation? Or were you at all not informed?”
A.K: “I wasn’t informed until I saw the trial papers sitting upon my desk during my term in office. At that point, I didn’t think speaking to him was worth it, really. No sense in trying to rationalize with that blundering buffoon when I could simply sit back and allow the law to do all of the work for me. Bao has always had a strange obsession with ‘discipline’, as I’m sure you’ve seen he even goes as far as to wave that ridiculous stick around in public . . It’s got the cops on him a few times, it’s a bit embarrassing.”
U.K: “Oh my god, that could honestly just ruin his reputation for himself, AND family. During my interview with him, I asked him what he would have said back to you when you spoke to him on sentencing day. I'm sure you read it, though he mentioned that you weren’t there, or where were you, I don’t really remember. But, what do you have to say to that?”
A.K: “Well, just before the cuffs clicked around his wrists, I told him how disappointed I was, how worthless he really is. I gave him a seat as a Governor, I gave him /true/ power for once, and what did he do? Throw it all away with idiotic, shortsighted decisions. Bao may be the eldest, but he has always lived under my shadow. The all-mighty powerful Bao Koji is just an act, really. An extremely high ego for a very feeble man.”
U.K: “While we are on the topic of high ego, do you know what that cane is for? Or is it just pity points? I’m just wondering… Could lead to giving himself a bigger ego, somehow”
A.K: “I can assure you it’s purely cosmetic. He doesn’t actually have a disability of any sort. Why does he walk around with a cheap cane and school kids dressed in suits? I’m not sure . . I’m pretty sure his ‘secretary’ doesn’t actually get paid, either.”
U.K: “OH OH!! SECRETARY!!! Tell me ALLL about the two. Cause while speaking with him, I could CLEARLY see that she and he had SOMETHING going on.”
A.K: “From what I hear, she is more or less just some woman Bao has gotten involved with ‘romantically’ except she refused to even share a room with him because of his inability to use deodorant consistently. Rumor has it that he’s tried pursuing her 13 times now to no avail. It’s quite pathetic, honestly. It makes me almost want to hold a shred of pity for him.”
U.K: “13 times!? My god, I could tell he had a thing for her, but jeez…. What’s your comment on her agreeing that he should be let free on the fact of him abusing someone?”
A.K: “Well, that in itself shows how flawed his logic is. I’m confident that he will never be allowed back in the office, and to be frank, I think he should be run out of town. He has my name, but he is /not/ my brother. He is not allowed to visit any of the family, he is barred from gatherings, and I have cut him out of the family will. How dense does she have to be to abuse someone, get out of jail, and then go on to aimlessly insult his own family in a report? What was the thought process behind it?”
A.K: “Now, he has nothing, nobody. Well . . . Maybe his secretary, but that’s beside the point. I have no sympathy for him, I do not wish to see him, and if he disappears- good riddance.”
U.K: “I’m sure plenty of people share your same thoughts. He did say he /forgave/ Saeko, though, in my opinion. What do you have to say on that?”
A.K: “I’m not sure if bold, arrogant, or stupid is the correct word usage here. If anything, /he/ is the one that needed forgiving, which I don’t think anyone is going to be doing anytime soon.”
U.K: “I see, now to move on from Bao briefly. I’m sure you read the interview with your wife, Kimitsu? Do you wish to comment on anything that had been stated there?
A.K: “I didn’t see that one actually, what did she say?”
**[SOUND OF PAPER RUFFLING]**
U.K: “ ‘I find it ridiculous what a couple of rumors can do, but. . .there’s some truth to everything, isn’t there? Alex is. . .just about as loyal to his relationships as he is his duties as mayor.’ quoted directly.”
A.K:“Hmm . . I don’t necessarily agree with the first part, not everything with a rumor has truth to it. If I had said that you had three eyes, six arms, and one leg, would that rumor have any truth to it?”
U.K:“Most certainly not… Though, she continues to say ‘However. . .I have put together that Sengoku has certainly attempted at making advances. Of course – nothing truly happened, but that does not change the fact, there were attempts. . . Scandalous, right?’. Any further comments?”
A.K:“No comment, I’m sure you’ll understand that I’d rather not feed into it.”
U.K: “None? Are you sure? In my personal opinion, it’s better to comment than completely dismiss an accusation. Though, I will leave it at that. Final question before we end. If you did so happen to speak to Bao, what is one thing you would say to him? Anything goes, of course. I assure you it can be hard to compile everything into words, so state as much as you’d like.”
A.K: “Honestly? I wouldn’t want to say anything to him. Maybe give him a disapproving look, but that's about it. If we’re getting into hypothetical, I suppose I’d tell him that he should be ashamed of himself. He has brought dishonor, and shame, and displayed that he is incapable of functioning in a normal society. I’d tell him to leave and never come back.”
U.K: “I see, sure he wouldn’t listen, perhaps try to hit you with his crop, hahaha… Anyway, I lied. This is the last question. How do you feel about Mike Akihito, Akihito clan lead, becoming mayor?”
A.K: “It’s a bit odd, to be honest. The guy went from shopkeeper to mayor, not really sure how that works. Apparently, a college student was killed today and the body was marked with ‘Akihito’, if the criminal accusations against him are true, surely we are doomed.”
A.K: “One last thing, Bao considers any publicity to be good publicity, even if it’s abusing women”
**[RECORDING END]**
Well, isn't this just…. JUCY! I cannot wait to see what Bao has to say back to his younger brother! This is a pretty long one, so I’ll let you guys just discuss it amongst yourselves
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