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Miles' Ranking of the Staff Team

Koolji

Level 21
hi it's me
i was inspired by the other post of someone ranking the staff team so I'm going to do that

if you ask for someone i will do them, but here's the kicker, i will be ranking them based on how muscular and how physically powerful i think they are

if you were hoping for an in-depth critique, then you've come to the right place

whether or not they have the capability to crush a watermelon between their biceps or are sun
i shall rate them

submit your desired staff, i will do this weekly

edit 1: if you give me someone who is not staff i will mark your post as dumb

edit 2: no community staff does not count otherwise i would squash everyone

Formal Disclaimer
This post is not indicative of the user's true feelings and thoughts regarding the players listed. Any criticisms or negative comments should be taken with an approach of humor, as should this entire thread. Any remarks here are purely for the sake of fun and community engagement and should not convey disrespect or malicious thoughts of any kind. Thank you for your understanding.

tl;dr - This is satire, you must laugh.

hello fellow chads and stacys, this week because it was literally the first request, i shall be doing Duckings, one of the owners of the RPHub communities.

now let's go over what we know about duckings
• its a he
• their fursona is a duck
• i heard they do tennis?
• probably makes bank
• self-proclaimed god, has a temple

with this evidence, i conclude duckings has a dad bod and give him a score of two bicep curls and one glute flex

why do i say this?
so, he's a duck right, his avatar's a duck and as we all know from pokemon, the science to being a duck is flight. because duckings is a flying type they are polar opposites of the ground, rock and fighting types, which are what most chad trainers use

fighting type pokemon embody muscle and beef, just look at machamp and machoke, so if flying excels against fighting then they are against the fundamentals of lifting and fitness so thats a few points down for Duckings

However, because I think they do tennis duckings most likely has some strong wingspans from some good ol swings. we here at milescular fitness encourage exercises of any kind even though tennis will utterly destroy your shoulders and back if you dont stretch, make sure you stretch, Duckings.

if he makes bank he can probably afford to go to the gym or eat healthier but that comes to a matter of willpower so we dont know there

you know what gods do? in greek legend gods are petty as heck and sit on mt olympus causing chaos, charge they power, eat hot ambrosia and screw
if duckings has a temple he probably chills in that temple but since most of the food sacrificed at temples are luxury and healthy he's probably eating good and not any junk food

over all, acceptable vibe
the council rates your fitness 2 biceps out of seven

okay so i forgot to do it for this week so youre getting a shorter one may, whoopsie

anywho, chad and stacys, I bring to you today a review of the moderator nuka mayz or nukamays either way it's a nuke and a may somewhere in the same word
we've got very lil info on nuka but she exists so there must be stuff to find out

what do we know about nuka mays?
• tis a lass
• Nuka probably from fallout? soda? maybe
• lore team coordinator, technically my "boss"
• animal crossing lover

all the evidence that ive so dilligently gathered points to may having: a bodybuilding body on steroids

i cannot condone the use of steroids in your bulking nuka, you only get one finger twitch as a score. shame.

why do I say this? well everyone knows that if you are an animal crossing lover you are clearly a very well defined muscular bald man with muscles bulging out every second you exist, nuka is that

however, because nuka is obsessed with the physique, nuka cola from fallout has a lot of rads in it and what else is immune to rads? supermutants, that's right, may is a supermutant which is why she is so incredibly muscular, but it's kind of cheap because it's like trying to see who'll win in limbo, an elf or a dwarf.

because they are my "boss" i have to give thhem at least .1 point, so that's a finger flex

lass has nothing to do with it, just had to fill another fact in

ok it's 3 am, good night
 
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minty

Level 10
I'm submitting suneaterchan because of this:
whether or not they have the capability to crush a watermelon between their biceps or are sun
She is quite literally sun, plus I've seen her squash a watermelon between her pinky and ring finger before. She might as well be called The Rock because she is so strong.
 
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