[IC] BOOK-
Find it somewhere !!
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I've stared at the mirror a lot of times in my life, staring at the same small person in the mirror. Do other people see what I see?I never understood, this other side of me. Find it somewhere !!
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I reply with a 'I'm fine', but I don't know what fine is. However, I do know that I'm fine, this side of me is fine. Yet the other side, the other side that I'm so scared of, isn't fine. It's crippling, ripping itself itself with expectations, guilt, and regret, ending up to forging such a disarranged build. Looking at the thing, wouldn't you want to discard it too?That's what I do, yet it always come crawling under my bed. Its scary face, with melted eyes, its mouth would be weirdly shaped, shaped by other people's filters. Its hands would be scaly, they'd look horrifying. I don't sleep much, it keeps me awake. I'm not horrified about the form that much really, I'm more horrified of the people who formed it. How cruel must you be? To create such a monster?.. Well, that's fine. This is all fine. First nights of it appearing, of course I hide my face away from it. Its hands reaching my back, cold, caressing it as it touches me so often to remind me of its existence. It annoys me at first, yet oddly enough I start to feel comfort. The other side of me, I used to be afraid of-- is now calming me? Is it because I managed to control it? Or rather, I finally let it control me? I start getting used to it, slowly and carefully, it started sleeping next to me, instead of under my bed. Is that good? It doesn't matter now, sooner or later, I start reading it bedtime stories. It listens. Every time I go back to bed, I notice that it's starting to get more deformed, I brush it off.
"Another bedtime story for tonight?".