On 6/27/2023, the intercoms all throughout the school made a quick beeping sound followed by a mysterious voice saying the words: “Just out of curiosity, does anyone have a better coffee machine? Preferably one that doesn’t system update consistently-” throughout the hallways and classrooms, laughter erupted. Many people recorded the situation once they heard the beep. I was sent one of these recordings, and in the background, behind all the laughs, you could hear the voice saying to someone who’s voice we could not hear: “Wha-? I’m speaking to no-one?... Well, there’s probably someone on campus with a better coffee machine! It’s worth a tr- No, I don’t have a complex, I’m just asking for a coffee- '' That's when the P.A. beeped and ended.
After carefully listening back to this intercom, I’ve deciphered that the voice we hear is the voice of none other than Mee-young Jaibatsume, the Club Leader for the Journalism Club. In this report, I have conducted an investigation using many resources to figure out what the true intention behind this coffee-machine-requesting intercom was.
As mentioned before, a college Journalist at Karakura Community College has recently made the request for a coffee machine in the Broadcasting Room / Journalism Club Room so that they would be able to get coffee without having to leave the room while they were working in the room. This request has not yet been acknowledged by anyone. The request was made on the twenty-third of June. That is just four days prior to the intercom by Mee-young. With this theory, I’m suggesting that Mee-young finally saw the request made for the coffee machine and decided to ask everyone on campus if they had a coffee machine to spare! What a thoughtful scenario!
Recently, there’s been a renovation to the Broadcasting Room. Many walls were added, many colours were changed, things like that! This left a few spaces empty, and a coffee machine would be the perfect thing to fit in this space. But would Mee-young take over the school intercoms to ask for a coffee machine for the Broadcasting Room? Plus, clearly stated in the intercom, Mee-young said: “better coffee machine,” insinuating that there is already a coffee machine that she is just looking to replace. And, after walking around the Broadcasting Room for a moment, I’ve found that there is not currently a coffee machine in the club room. Perhaps Mee just messed up the wording of the intercom. After all, it sounded as if she were in quite the rush.
Many people have coffee machines at their own homes. The Jaibatsume family owns an estate in the forest of Karakra. Perhaps, somewhere in there, there’s a coffee machine that needs to be replaced. This scenario is extremely likely while being extremely unlikely at the same time. It’s likely because.. Well, when being in the middle of the forest, you’re bound to have some broken parts. So, needing a new coffee machine for home would be something that could be happening. However, would Mee-Young be at the point that she would take over the whole school’s P.A. system just to ask for a coffee machine? I don’t know them that well, so it is hard to say, but perhaps someone reading this can answer that question. But, do forested estates even have coffee machines? Do they have the electricity power to make one work? Is that why she need a new coffee machine? They just need a coffee machine that can work without having to be plugged in? That’s enough questions for me, though! I suppose it’s about time we move on to the next theory!
We all get bored sometimes. If a leader of a country gets bored, they might start a war [JOKES], if a teddy bear gets bored, they might… be a teddy bear, if you get bored, you might watch TikToks. But what happens when Mee-Young gets bored? When Mee-Young Jaibatsume gets bored, does she make an announcement to the whole school that they need a new coffee machine? Mee-Young does have access to the intercom, as we’ve seen them use it beforehand. But, does Mee-Young need permission to use the intercom? I should really stop asking questions. If you could make a silly statement that all of KHSCC (Karakura High School & Community College) would hear when you were bored, would you? Well, to answer this, I’ve asked 10 people. Below is a pie chart of how people answered.
60% of the people who I asked said that if they had permissions to the intercom, they would either use it responsibly, or not use it at all. However 40% of the people I asked stated they would make funny intercoms practically every day if they could!
For this section of this report, I have conducted an interview with none other than Mee-Young Jaibatsume. The one who originally announced the need for a coffee machine. Let’s get right into it:
“Uhh… Mee-young Jaibatsume”
“Do you remember 06/27/23, when you requested over the school intercom for information on a better coffee machine?”
“Yes, I do..”
“What was the coffee machine for? Why did you need one?”
“The Journalism Room... and because I have narcolepsy. Kind of a crutch. It’s very hard to get coffee from a coffee machine that is always… software updating.”
“Do you need permission from someone in authority in order to take over the P.A. system?”
“Not really, senior journalists and journalist leads are authorised to make announcements as they please so long as it's within a reasonable time frame. That’s not to say I can’t get in trouble for what I say, though. I have had plenty o’ chase with the vice principal.”
“Thank you for your time, 'Uhh… Mee-young. Jaibatsume.'”
“You’re rather professional as someone I have trained…”
Wowie! What an ending. Turns out, Mee-Young Jaibatsume was really just trying to get a coffee machine for the journalism room. And she really doesn’t need permission to override the P.A. system.
And now… I have a question for the audience:
Do you have a better coffee machine?
As of now, the Journalism Club is looking for two highschoolers and one college student to become the newest editions to the club! Perhaps… you, yeah you! You could be the newest Journalist!
https://discord.gg/Zkby54pC7r
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A HUGE thanks to Customable for letting me interview them and… sort of write the report about their character!
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