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SCHOOL NEWS REPORT | Brendan MacLeod vs. Rikiya Kozuka

Who won the fight?

  • Brendan

  • Rikiya

  • Zacharie???


Results are only viewable after voting.

Teikko

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Teikko
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At 11:21 am on a Tuesday, a fight broke out in the Journalism club between the newest member in training Brendan MacLeod, and Rikiya Kozuka, a veteran member of the Club. Video footage shows the true brutality of Brendan MacLeod so viewer discretion is advised. Seemingly having a pretty clean school record, sources tell us that he has been LATE on his library fees more than once, probably twice that we know of showing that you can't be too sure of what kind of monster you are sitting next to in Karakura! We get a deeper look at how on his first day he caused such an issue for the club and caused two possible concussions! In an interview with Brendan MacLeod, he claimed that he was told to fight Rikiya by the Club Leader Fuyuki Takao, but I find it unlikely and refuse to believe these outrageous claims! But without any further ado, let's move on to the video...

[Riku H. Adelaide could be heard fiddling with the camera on her phone trying to capture the fight going on between Brendan and Rikiya.]

Riku:
“I’m putting this on Tik Tok!”

[Fuyuki could be seen stepping away from Rikiya (definitely not beating him up at all!) He’d turn to Brendan after guiding Rikiya to the center of the room]

Fuyuki:
“Brendan, your turn.”

[Zacharie T. Edgeworth could also be seen holding a phone recording the events as well as Riku with a confused expression on his face watching the events unfolding in front of him.]

Zacharie:

“Apparently, we are beating up Rikiya?”

[The camera then pans directly to Brendan looking down before he looked up glaring directly at Rikiya with a raised eyebrow he seemed very calm and nonchalant about the brutal acts that are about to be committed]

Brendan:
“So looks like we have to ‘fight’. Are you ready?”

Rikiya:
“N-No…”

[Brendan would then go into his pocket and attempt to pull out something, but what could it be? Was it a pair of brass knuckles, was it a weapon of some kind? What sick thing will he pull out of his pockets to take advantage of poor Rikiya? Wait… NO! It was a phone! What sick purpose could he use this for? With a smirk on his face, he’d hold up the phone and press a button that put on a playlist, probably to amp him up for the fight, but it was the song “Dynamite” by Taio Cruz. He’d point to Rikiya with an intense look on his face]

Brendan:
“You go first! Let’s dance bitch!”

Fuyuki:
“No! No no! Not a dance fight! Beat him up!”

Riku:
“Lame!”

Zacharie:
“To be fair, you didn’t specify what kind of fight… I think.”

[Note: This section focuses on the fight and the full actions made by each of the participants. Anything in brackets is to give additional information to YOU, the reader. The colors of the text will be to discern which is Rikiya’s actions and what was Brendan’s during the dance battle. There will also be gifs to provide a visual aid for some of the actions.]

“IT’S ON BITCH!” Rikiya stepped forward onto the ‘dance floor’ and began doing the waving worm arm dance move thing. It was not the best.

Brendan was not slow to counter, he responded with some weird arm flailing technique this man clearly had no idea how to dance, after the arm flailing he moved into some poor rendition of the ‘Duggie’ although it wasn’t very good. It was apparent that Brendan had no idea how to move with the rhythm of the music.

Gasped, in his head, there was a glimmer of fear, he was afraid that he might be beaten in this battle! In response to the dance moves that Brendan was laying down, he began to do the Club Penguin Dance, causing anyone who remembers that game to shed a tear in remembrance.

Brendan looked at the dance moves that Rikiya was putting down with an impressed look on his face “Woah! I see you are pretty skilled! Now try this on for size!”

[Switching the song he’d put on “Billie Jean” by Michael Jackson switching up the genre and the way he was dancing altogether]

Brendan would then do a little twirl that badly resembled Michael Jackson’s spin with one of his hands grabbing a pretend fedora, he’d then attempt to moonwalk, but since he was such a terrible dancer it looked like he was slipping whilst stepping backward ending it with another spin in a high pitched Michael Jackson voice which wasn’t very high due to his naturally deep voice he yelled “HEE HEE!”

Rikiya was astonished by the amazing moves that Brendan put forth and was taken aback, so much that it caused him to fall over onto the floor and play dead for a few minutes causing some concern for his well-being amongst the bystanders. Then suddenly he stood up, cracked his knuckles, and did an EPIC backflip! At least it would look cool in his mind, the flip was not successful causing Rikiya to faceplant into the ground knocking him out completely and probably giving him a concussion…

Brendan looked on in awe and shock at the excellence of Rikiya’s backflip thinking it to be part of a dance move that was so epic that he couldn’t comprehend it “WOAAH! That was amazing! Did you mean to do that?!” he’d ask this to the completely unconscious body of Rikiya

[Upon witnessing the failed backflip done by Rikiya many of the Journalist members felt inspired to attempt backflips such as Zacharie T. Edgeworth, although watching Rikiya fail his attempt should’ve been a clear indicator of how it would go, whilst in the air he hit his head on the table and knocked himself out along with Rikiya]

Not to be outdone by Rikiya or Zacharie, he looked down and sighed while shaking his head “Looks like I have to go all out, just this once. Time for my signature move!” he’d then lay down on the floor and attempted to do… “The Worm!” but it was a horrible attempt and it looked like he was just a fish out of water flopping around or a man with no arms trying to crawl, with his face on the ground the entire time he’d let out a muffled “Yeah, I bet I look so cool!” After a while of doing his weird rendition of “The Worm” he’d start breathing heavily, turning his head to the side gasping for air as if the dance took an immense toll on his body “Mehh, I’m gonna… I’m gonna need a minute…”


[...The video would then cut out at Brendan’s exasperated face on the floor]

There you have it! The footage clearly shows that Brendan MacLeod is solely responsible for the concussions that Rikiya and Zacharie both probably maybe received whilst doing the backflips that were definitely forced upon them by the intense glaring pressure and the epicness of his dance moves, it obviously forced their hands to do backflips, the only thing that could have defeated his awesomeness, but what do you think? Did Brendan win the fight? Both Rikiya and Zacharie were knocked unconscious while Brendan was only out of breath towards the end and got up without a scratch. Or did Rikiya win the fight with their EPIC moves and that sick backflip he landed? Was Brendan forced to ‘fight’ Rikiya on his own volition or was his hands forced by the leader of the Journalism Club, Fuyuki Takao? I’ll leave that up to the unbiased and rational minds of you, the readers, to make up your minds on this controversial topic.

[The video proceeded to cut off and end… or DID IT? After about 4 seconds of black screen, another video would appear, showing Fuyuki Takao in some… cave?]

“I am in no way responsible for the actions that have been done in this report. Don’t blame me for SHIT. Plus, it wasn’t even a real fucking fi-”

[The video then cut off, mid-sentence. Oh, I wonder what he was going to say.]
 
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