Rikiya Kozuka | 28/7/2021
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[ A video began to play, a little unusual from Rikiya’s usual report format.
The screen showed Rikiya standing in front of the plaza with a hairbrush in his hand, he held it as if it was a microphone. ]
RIKIYA
“Karakura! We all know and love the Journalist Club! . . Right? RIGHT?? . . Haha! Anyways, I’m going to interview the people of Karakura and see what they think about this totally rad, totally awesome club!!”
[ The clip cuts to a series of interviews, Rikiya being recorded with different people beside him. ]
---
[ The clip started with Rikiya staring at his interviewee rather intensely. The interviewee was clearly anxious. ]
RIKIYA
“Hello, mister general public.”
“Hello, mister general public.”
NEVAAN
He let out a nervous chuckle as his voice cracked, but he quickly covered it up with a cough and a nod. “Hey . . You.”
He let out a nervous chuckle as his voice cracked, but he quickly covered it up with a cough and a nod. “Hey . . You.”
RIKIYA
“Would you like to state your name, age, occupation, favorite band, etcetera?”
NEVAAN
“Ah- Right!- Well uh . . Uh- Sorry. My name is Nevaan Muleya and I am eighteen years old. I’m a council member here at Karakura and . . . Uh . . Favorite band? Favorite band . . Probably Cage The Elephant.”
“Ah- Right!- Well uh . . Uh- Sorry. My name is Nevaan Muleya and I am eighteen years old. I’m a council member here at Karakura and . . . Uh . . Favorite band? Favorite band . . Probably Cage The Elephant.”
RIKIYA
“Oh- He’s one of those nerds . . ANYWAYS! OH MY [BLEEP]ING GOD, I LOVE CAGE THE ELEPHANT! Err- Off topic, so! What is your opinion on the journalist club???”
“Oh- He’s one of those nerds . . ANYWAYS! OH MY [BLEEP]ING GOD, I LOVE CAGE THE ELEPHANT! Err- Off topic, so! What is your opinion on the journalist club???”
NEVAAN
“Haha . . Uh- yeah! I think their music is hella good- Uh . . oh. Well, I haven't really experienced what they do in person but I think it's pretty interesting.”
“Haha . . Uh- yeah! I think their music is hella good- Uh . . oh. Well, I haven't really experienced what they do in person but I think it's pretty interesting.”
RIKIYA
“Do you read our reports?”
“Do you read our reports?”
NEVAAN
“Honestly I’m not much of a reader when it comes to outside of school . . but I’ve checked out a few with my friends. Not . . really, though.”
“Honestly I’m not much of a reader when it comes to outside of school . . but I’ve checked out a few with my friends. Not . . really, though.”
RIKIYA
Rikiya squinted his eyes, clearly judging Nevaan. “Interesting.”
[ The video cuts to a black screen, before going back to the same format, just a different person. ]
RIKIYA
“Name, age, occupation, favorite TAWOG character?”
“Name, age, occupation, favorite TAWOG character?”
SHAGGY
“Shaggy, I am eighteen years young, I am on the Bobcats Basketball team, and the hell is a TAWOG character?”
“Shaggy, I am eighteen years young, I am on the Bobcats Basketball team, and the hell is a TAWOG character?”
RIKIYA
“THE AMAZING WORLD OF GUMBALL? HELLO???
“THE AMAZING WORLD OF GUMBALL? HELLO???
SHAGGY
“Oh- How am I supposed to know that? I like the orange fish thingy, I guess”
“Oh- How am I supposed to know that? I like the orange fish thingy, I guess”
RIKIYA
“Of course. So, your opinion on the club??”
“Of course. So, your opinion on the club??”
SHAGGY
He inhaled, “Honestly from my experience it’s quite enjoyable. Previously being in the club- and almost gaining a senior reporter, I can tell you that it is quite the enthusiastic experience.”
RIKIYAHe inhaled, “Honestly from my experience it’s quite enjoyable. Previously being in the club- and almost gaining a senior reporter, I can tell you that it is quite the enthusiastic experience.”
“Hmm, what about the new members and our reports?”
SHAGGY
“A lot of time and dedication is put into each other's work. I personally haven't met any of the new members- apart from your friend and you. Although, I can assume they are all welcoming members. Apart from that- the work is detailed and enjoyable to read. Captivating their readers.”
“A lot of time and dedication is put into each other's work. I personally haven't met any of the new members- apart from your friend and you. Although, I can assume they are all welcoming members. Apart from that- the work is detailed and enjoyable to read. Captivating their readers.”
RIKIYA
“So . . Did you read my furry report? You look like you’d be a furry.”
“So . . Did you read my furry report? You look like you’d be a furry.”
SHAGGY
“Oh? I do now. That's alright- I’ll save it for another time, afterall we are on camera. Any other questions?”
Rikiya stayed silent for a moment, a smirk creeping up on his face as if he was plotting a really funny your mom joke, “Are you gay??”
SHAGGY
“I am not- I am actually straight, believe it or not. Although, I do not see how this has anything to do with the correspondence of journalism. I would prefer a different question.”
RIKIYA
“Whoa- That really IS hard to believe. Anyways, why’d ya quit?”
“Whoa- That really IS hard to believe. Anyways, why’d ya quit?”
SHAGGY
“I quit to move on to other work. Personally had better opportunities.”
[ Rikiya started touching his chin, imitating stroking a beard. As if he could grow one . . The mysterious camerama- person obviously capitalized on this, zooming in on him. They zoomed back out as he started speaking again. ]
RIKIYA
“Is that the case or do you just hate Mookie?”
“Is that the case or do you just hate Mookie?”
SHAGGY
“I actually was in it before he was in a leading position. I was in it before he was in the club itself.”
RIKIYA“I actually was in it before he was in a leading position. I was in it before he was in the club itself.”
“So you left because he joined?
SHAGGY
“No- are you listening clearly?”
“I’m joking! haha! Okay- That's it. Go . . read my furry report.”
[ The clip ends with Shaggy giving Rikiya a white smile. Rikiya cringed. Hard.. ]
---
[ Another interview begins, except this time the format changed, only the interviewee was shown. It seems like Rikiya Kozuka’s came****rson retired. ]
---
[ Another interview begins, except this time the format changed, only the interviewee was shown. It seems like Rikiya Kozuka’s came****rson retired. ]
“Name, age, favorite member of Big Time Rush, occupation?”
JUNE
“June Kishibe, eighteen. Uh- I like logan”
RIKIYA
“Taste! So, your opinion on the journalist club?”
“Taste! So, your opinion on the journalist club?”
JUNE
“I think it’s cool, I mean, I’ve seen a lot of the [BLEEP] you guys have done. And it's really interesting, especially the furry report.”
RIKIYA
“Cool! Do you think there's anything that could be improved from our work?”
“Cool! Do you think there's anything that could be improved from our work?”
JUNE
“No? I mean, I love all the [BLEEP] you guys do.”
RIKIYA
“Interesting. Favorite journalist?”
“Interesting. Favorite journalist?”
JUNE
“Well, for the improvements I think everyone should get stunning fits like Rikiya Kozuka.
RIKIYA
“SO TRUE!”
“SO TRUE!”
JUNE
“Favorite journalist? . . I’d have to go with Rikiya, mans just perfect.”
RIKIYA
“UGH SO TRUE, JUNE”
“UGH SO TRUE, JUNE”
JUNE
“Well- perfect, except he’s shorter than me-”
[ The video quickly cuts off. ]
---
[ A new recording starts. It shows a man with blue hair . . another person beside him, she was very close to him. Isamu Katsuragi and Hoshimatoatsishi Yebisu, for the people who may recognize them. ]
---
[ A new recording starts. It shows a man with blue hair . . another person beside him, she was very close to him. Isamu Katsuragi and Hoshimatoatsishi Yebisu, for the people who may recognize them. ]
ISAMU
“My first words will be . . I’ve been doing this guy’s mother for a while now, Hello, people who are like, watching this.”
???
“LOL” (Yes, this background person literally said ‘LOL’ out loud, what a loser.)
[ The person beside the blue-haired man started speaking . . ]
HOSHIMATOATSISHI
“You look like an ice cream cone I ate about an hour ago. Does your hair taste like ice cream?”
ISAMU
“No.”
HOSHIMATOATSISHI
“Can I take a bite of your hair?”
[ Hoshimatoatsishi proceeded to eat Isamu’s hair, Isamu didn’t seem to mind. . . ]
RIKIYA“EVERYONE SHUT UP!! Okay, what do you think of the journalist club?- Oh wait, what’s your name?”
ISAMU
“My name? Katsuragi, Isamu. As known as, the guy that had done your mother several times. My opinion on the journalist club? I think it’s pretty awesome. Your articles- at least.”
RIKIYA
“Favorite journalist?”
ISAMU
“As of now, my hair is being eaten, so I will not react to that. However, my favorite journalist? no one yet.”
“As of now, my hair is being eaten, so I will not react to that. However, my favorite journalist? no one yet.”
RIKIYA
“I’ll take that as a Rikiya Kozuka.”
“I’ll take that as a Rikiya Kozuka.”
ISAMU
“Don’t take it as your name, I do not want to feed your ego.”
RIKIYA
“Shush. Is there anything that we could improve?”
“Shush. Is there anything that we could improve?”
HOSHIMATOATSISHI
“THE JOURNALIST CLUB NEEDS MORE MILFS!” She yelled.
???
‘’I AGREE.” Some random bystander yelled back.
RIKIYA
“Not how it works but okay.”
“Not how it works but okay.”
ISAMU
“Just delve into cool topics, I suppose. Oh and if you’re watching this- Ahahaha . . .” Isamu paused, before yelling: “I DID RIKIYA KOZUKA’S MOM! HUHAHAHA.”
RIKIYA
“CAN CONFIRM, I WALKED IN ON YOUR GUYS ONCE!”
“CAN CONFIRM, I WALKED IN ON YOUR GUYS ONCE!”
HOSHIMATOATSISHI
“RIKIYA'S MOTHER IS A MILF! PUT HER IN THE JOURNALIST CLUB!”
ISAMU
“THAT’S BASED. THANKS FOR CONFIRMING!”
“YOUR [BLEEP] IS UNBELIEVABLY SMALL, ISAMU”
ISAMU
“WHAT TH-”
[ The video ends . . ]
