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SCHOOL NEWS REPORT | Scrap Report: Facts With Zac

ZaciZach

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Scrap Reports Facts with Zac.png

[A video starts, showing Zacharie T. Edgeworth in what looks like her own home, sitting on the bed wearing her usual clothing.]

Hey there! This is Zacharie, your fellow journalists and today I am starting a thing called Facts with Zac! No this isn’t going to be some article talking about random facts I found on the internet- probably. This is me going to find out certain facts about our wonderful Karakura school. And for this first part of hopefully a long line of reports… I want to find out just how diverse our school is.

[The video then suddenly turns black as words in a white font appear while funny music played in the background. Zacharie’s voice played over, reading what was on screen]

Or ‘supposed’ to find out. Future Zacharie here to tell you that this ‘experiment’ was a failure and it was a pain in the ass and I hope to never do it. However, I need to do a report or else I will be kicked and I will admit there were some funny things I saw so I will just show you guys the more entertaining parts of my journey.

[The video then cuts back, showing Zacharie seemingly walking to school, the camera pointed to her.]

Making my way to school right now- and basically what I’m going to do is to ask as many people as I can where they’re from. Not gonna ask for any more details than that, just need the numbers to compare. [You’re an idiot]

[There would be a short timelapse of Zacharie seemingly talking to people on school grounds. The ‘speedrun’ music will play. After the timelapse, Zacharie would be seen walking along the swimming pool.]

Alright! Got five already… This will probably take a while. So for the sake of- you know- time, I’ll just cut some parts and I’ll only show the interesting bits. Hopefully nothing goes wrong!

[The whole screen goes black for a brief moment, and the words ‘Everything goes wrong’ appears. The next cut shows Zacharie running? Before she stopped, camera pointed up to reveal Riku H. Adelaide]

RIKU. DEAR.

Hi. Me.

Where are you from?

My momma.

[Silence as Riku kept a straight face.]

I’m not even. . .

YOU ALREADY KNOW WHERE I AM FROM?!?!

JUST ANSWER THE QUESTION I NEED IT FOR JOURNALISM SHIT!!

I’M FROM THE PHILIPPINES!!!

OKAY THANK YOU!

[As the camera turns, Zacharie seemingly leaves, a disappointed sigh can be heard from her as Riku’s cackles fill the air.]

I am a genius.

[The video turns black again, and words with a comic sans font and in white appears as Future Zacharie once more voice overs them]

Due to my introverted ass not allowing me to talk to people I have assigned Riku to help me gather information. I’m just kidding, Riku knew I was never going to talk to strangers so he decided to do my job for me.

[The next cut is of Riku talking to a group and openly asking about their nationalities. There was a bit of voices overlapping, though someone did speak in Russian]

Zac, does your dad speak Russian?

No-???

[Someone briefly spoke in Spanish.]

LAME. WHERE ARE YOU FROM?!

Spain.

I swear to god you’re doing all the work for me what the fuck-

Poggies. Do your work.

I-

[Zacharie is suddenly dragged by one arm as Riku shouted over his shoulder]


THANK YOU BYE!! LOVE YOU ALL!!

[The next cut shows Zacharie and Riku talking to another student]

Person. Hi.

Hi.

Where are you from? Need it for school stuff.

I’m from Yuri.

[There was an audible pause, as if Zacharie knowing a joke would follow along.]

Yurin deez nuts? Anyway uh-

Yuri tarded.

[Riku immediately deflated into a wheezing dolphin as he practically collapsed on the ground, laughing hysterically as Zacharie was left dumbfounded. There’s no proper response as the video then cuts to Zacharie approaching what looked to be Joutarou Kuujou, a Professor. The camera is then pointed towards her as she uses JSL to communicate with him.]

Where are you from? Journalism stuff.

[Joutarou’s response is not recorded, but whatever he responded with it made Zacharie widen her eyes a tiny bit, mouth slightly open from shock.]

. . . I got that on record, you know that, right?

[She was obviously bluffing but she quickly switched the camera perspective, showing Joutarou quickly leaving the scene embarrassed as she speed-walks after him.]

WAIT- ANSWER ME I NEED IT FOR JOURNALISM FOR REAL-

[The video cuts again, and this time it shows the one and only cool Rikiya Kozuka. There was no Zacharie asking the question, just straight up Rikiya answering because he’s just that cool like that.]

SENDAI BORN AND RAISED BABY! Well, that’s not entirely true. My grandma from my mom’s side is from here, but my grandpa is from Sendai and my dad is like… Entirely Sendaian.

Alright, that’s all. Thanks, Iki.

IKI?!?!?

[The video cuts once more to Zacharie walking by the beach. The sounds of the ocean waves are muffled in the background. Wow. Such aesthetic.]

Now, you’re probably wondering why I’m on the beach. Well, fun fact, the clips you saw earlier were from last month. I was so traumatized from my experiences that I was done with my recordings and decided that I should just edit it. Yea, well, I procrastinated and forgot about it and now here we are!

[Another cut, and Zacharie is now walking along the pier, camera facing towards her.]

Regardless though, it seems like a waste to just not do anything with what I learnt so I compiled all the information I gathered. From the whooping 42 people I mostly questioned before running away like a loser…

[Zacharie pointed at the empty space of the camera, and wow! A pie chart appears!]



… Now that I think about it, you can’t really see it but basically of the 42 people I interviewed, only like 33.3 percent is from Japan. Which is like 14 people. While the 67 something percent are foreigners basically. Looking closer, the top three foreigners are from America, Korea and the Philippines. Based on this very reliable information, I can infer that Karakura somehow has more foreigners than those from Japan.

[For the next five seconds, it’s just silence.]

Welp- that’s all from me. Shame that uh- I decided to scrap Facts with Zac. It rhymes a bit but- uh- Never doing this again I swear- take care of yourselves, don’t forget to drink water because hydration is… is nice. Yea. Anyway, I’m out. Till’ next report.

[The video then ends.]
 

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