*The feed would flash to life to reveal Mookie, all by himself. He’d be fashioning a rather somber expression, a glimmer that was once in his eyes is now gone. Dried tears would stain down his face. He’d sniffle before faking a smile and wiping his cheek a bit; speaking with a slightly broken voice*
“H-Hey guys… heh uh- so uh… vlog day! Yeah… Uh, so last vlog I asked you all to leave questions-” *He’d pause, audibly clearing his throat; a painful- heart wrenching sound* “A-an-And I intend to answer them! I uh- was supposed to have a special guest, but-! Actually- that uh… that doesn’t matter…”
“AHEM- SO uh- first question! This one comes from Hyakushima Munebayashi! She asks, “What’s it like being a journalist?..” *He’d tap his cheek, in a bid to clear his tears and to action out the process of thought* “Well, personally, I think it’s really fun! I’ve had plenty of supportive leads, and colleagues! Furthermore, it allows me to make vlogs like these and write about stuff! Thanks for the question Munebayashi! Moving on!”
*Clearing his throat and scrolling the page, adjusting his glasses he’d read the next comment*
“This next one comes from Asuka Aburaya- Ey girl! She asks, “Do you have more plans concerning journalism or are you keeping with vlogs only?” Good question! Actually, I’ve been meaning to branch off a bit- a few projects we’re currently working on and I was thinking about possibly starting up a lil comic thing! Lemme know how that stuff sounds!”
*As he scrolled further his eyes would widen*
“O-Oh boy… Uh so we’ve got about-” *He’d whisper* “1-2-3… 17-18-19…” *He’d return to his normal volume* “28 questions?! From uh- Eva Hashirama… Oh for the love of Ark… Alright! Here goes nothing!”
“First she asks, “How many toes do you have?” Uh… thanks for the question? I have ten; five per foot! Do with that what you will..”
“AHEM- Next she asks, “How many times do you count to ten on a daily basis?” To that I say, at least for today, three times!”
“Moving on, “Have you seen me before?” ” *His blood would run cold as he slowly looked around him surveying the area* “U-Uh…. Yeah?”
“Let’s take a look at the next one- “What is your age?” Currently twenty!”
““You should interview Zahra more. This isn’t a question, this is a demand.” Ah hah… yeah- uh- I do plan on interviewing her again! Last time I was in the hospital I saw- get this- three- yes three faculty members on duty! Looks like things are looking up for them! So I might revisit it and see how things are doing- apply for ems today!”
“ “When are you planning to take over the world with me?” Silence you fool! The mortals cannot know of our true intentions!”
“ “Do you have a crush?” Yes, moving on.”
“ “How many people have you killed?” None! I think-”
“ “This is question 10! Is that cool?” Eighteen to go!”
“ “When did you join the baseball team?” Oh uh- a few weeks ago? I serve as the co-captain for the college team! Honestly, it’s super fun! We have an extraordinary captain and what I think are great players. Together we’re trying to boost the rep and get baseball back on track! The bobcats are doing nicely too!”
“ “Are you getting married?” Who says I’m not already~?”
“ “How many times have you been beaten up?” Err I’ve only had a few times- Well there was that one kid- Castello? I think? I’m not sure- He got me in the bathroom once, nearly drowned me; luckily there was a tutor nearby. Another time I got knocked out and shoved into a locker. The council was put on high alert and we had like ten councillors hunting for the assailants; that one put me in the hospital. Aside from that I did like- get verbally picked on by few others, but we haven’t really talked since.”
“ “How many times have you flashed someone?” Ey! Hands off the merchandise! In all honesty- the last time I think anyone saw these puppies was at Fright Night; gotta admit I rocked that outfit! We’re all about nontoxic masculinity here!”
“ “How many cars did you have?” I’m no Siyu Kohana’nui, but I have had three; now I just have Ol’ Reliable.”
“ “What is your address?” [REDACTED]”
“ “How do you feel when I beat you up?” Eva, sweetie, you’re short. Literally punch me and it’s like hitting a rock; I will step on you.”
“ “When are you.. Uh.. you know.. Dying?” I no longer fear such mortal trivia as death.”
“ “If someone is coming out to kill you, what do you do?” Well I remember this one gang member came up to me, thought he was tough shit- I tried to kiss him, he got weirded out and ran; I hunted him down. Next question!”
“ “Why are you black?” ” *He’d just sort of look at the camera tilting his head in utter confusion*
“ “What happens if you turn white?” ” *Again, he’d just sort of look at the camera*
“ “Do you have a crush on me?” Daww, you’re cool n’ stuff, but Ionnnnn aaaaaaaa!”
“ “Are you gay?” Diet gay!”
“ “What would your dream bathroom look like?” Ooo that’s a new one- Yeah uh- something tropical; reminds me of home!”
“Speaking of home, “What country are you from mate?” Like the rest of us Aldridges, I hail from Madagascar!”
“ “What ice cream flavor is absolutely disgusting?" Chocolate.”
“ “What is your favorite musical?” Uhh not sure if it counts, but like- that Into the Woods remake was okay- I also liked Hairspray!”
“ “What would happen if there was a pill like SQUIP?” I have no idea what that is!”
“Phew…, that’s it for Eva’s questions- One sec!” *He’d pop open the top of his bottle, chugging the liquid inside. Some streams of it would leak from the sides of his mouth and down onto his shirt. He’d pant lightly as he slammed the bottle down; lazily wiping his lips with his forearm*
“Ah-heh-hem! Next question comes from Mazaki Celestial! She asks, “Is Eva a God?” No. Foolish, foolish girl. The only God here is me.”
“And finally our last question! Oo there’s a link to this one- It’s from one T. Hiroki, “Do you like Stayc?” The what? Oh there’s a link, okay let’s take a look- they look Korean?”
*He’d press play as the music started. His pupils would slowly shrink as his eyes began to water. His ears would start to leak blood on their own as he was left shaking in place. Suddenly, he’d snap, tearing at his own flesh; screaming out in agony*
“MAKE IT STOP, MAKE IT STOP! IT HURTS!”
*In his struggle he’d flop over, kicking the camera and the last thing the audience could see was his carpet getting ever closer before the camera slammed into it and the feed stopped*
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