I’m going to start off with a question: What’s rule #7 on the school rule board? You don’t know? Of course you don’t. No one does. Because no one cares. ‘No Animals Allowed on School Grounds.’ Now, as much as I try to fight the urge to say “Humans are animals. So, why am I here?” I won’t. I’m kidding, I just did.
Many people may say that it makes no sense for this rule to be in place. Animals can't cause harm to the school! But others could argue they some dogs are extremely reckless and could break a lot of school equipment.
Why is this rule set in place? Well, obviously it’s so that ducks don’t fly into the school and snails don’t climb in. But, animals can’t read. What do you want the school staff to do? Kill an animal? They can’t just throw a whole dolphin or cat over the school gate!
To answer all of our pressing questions, I've interviewed two people. A teacher and a vice principal!
Everyone, please welcome Snoobs Wigglesworth to this report! Sire Wigglesworth is a qualified history teacher at KHS, previously an astrology teacher.
Broadcasting Room, KHS
July 5th, 11.15AM
Karakura, Japan
Fazel Jahii: “Hello. Before we begin, may I get your preferred name?”
Snoobs Wigglesworth: “Snoobs! Came up with it myself!”
FJ: “Alright. Now, ‘Snoobs’, do you know what rule #7 on the school rule board is? If you do, please state what it is and nothing more.”
SW: “Number seven?! Can I go look?!?”
FJ: “No…”SW: “Uh… I do not know it off the top of my head, unfortunately.”
FJ: “Unfortunate. It is ‘No Animals on School Grounds.’ Now, how do you feel about this rule? Is it fair?”
SW: “Well.. I don't see the real point of it. If a bunny is on campus, for example, what is the worst that could really happen, y'know? However, regarding the rule, we do make exceptions for service animals.”
FJ: “How do you, as an authority figure at KHSCC, enforce this rule?”
SW: “Well, I rarely see animals on campus. Most of the time, it’s just a normal bird on my window, y’know? In that cast, I don’t do much because like- What am I supposed to do? Throw a rock at it?! No way jose! However, if someone has a dog and is walking around campus with it without it being a service animal, I will just give them a warning and ask if the animal could wait outside the gates for them.”
FJ: “How does a student go about telling school authorities that their animal is a service animal? Do they have to fill out a forum? Or just bring it in and let people know afterwards?”
SW: “Most of the time it is by word of mouth, or there might be a little tag on the animal that says: ‘Service Animal.’ Could someone easily lie and make a fake tag? YEAH! But, what am I gonna say? ‘No, you aren’t actually blind and that dog is not a service animal!’ We can’t really risk calling their bluff because like- that’d be bad news bronson.”
According to Sire Wigglesworth, students can bring their service animals into the Karakura High School & Community College building without having anyone fact check them for it, making it extremely easy for people to smuggle their animals into the school. Wigglesworth doesn’t shun regular animals for just flying over campus, what a nice guy!
Vice-Principal’s Office, KHS
July 21st, 16.15
Karakura, Japan
Fazel Jahii: "Hello ma’am, may I please get your name?"
Fiorenza Oshiro: "Of course! I am Vice Principal Fiorenza Koraru Ōshiro!"
FJ: "Pleased to meet you, Miss Ōshiro. Do you know what time number seven is on the school rule board? If so, please state what it is and nothing more."
FO: “The pleasure is all mine! And rule number seven here at Karakura High School is no animals are allowed on school grounds.”
FJ: "Why is this rule in place?"
FO: "We have this rule to make sure that students do not bring animals onto school grounds, to prevent unneeded disruptions."
FJ: "How do you expect faculty to enforce this rule? What are the punishments for disobeying this rule?"
FO: "Faculty can enforce this by, 1., making sure to justly punish students who sneak animals past school gates, or shoo away animals that sneak inside. The punishment for students outright bringing animals against the rules is a verbal warning, then detention. Repeated offenders may get more severe punishments, such as suspension."
FJ: "What are the benefits and negative side effects of this rule?"
FO: "The benefits are that the campus remains cleaner than it would if animals roamed it, and there would be less distractions that would harm students. The negative side effect, I would say, is that there isn’t that joy of having animals around. I wouldn’t mind if there was a controlled event, where animals were brought in to help students relax. THat’s just my thought, though."
FJ: "Thank you for your time, Miss."Miss Ōshiro believes that animals can bring joy but that they can also cause extreme harm to students’ education and well-being. Due to this, she suggests that the school have an organised event to bring animals on campus. What do you say? Sounds like a good idea? I think so!
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Thanks to BirdyRP, SelfDepression, Aaron_0_0_alt, SnailRP, orkae, ORmaybeYASSS, ToshiCadtsAlt, the random duck that showed up, and "Chocolate Omori" for being the absolute best models for the report header.
HUGE thanks to RexLobo and AppleSimp for being patient with my chaotic interview process!
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