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[SUGGESTION] OOC Age Gaps in RomanceRP | wesnt

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Ghostfire

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what need does an adult have to be writing out romantic sentences on a roleplay server anyway? no play irl? Seriously, if you are arguing against the fact this is NOT OKAY, you are an issue, and you are part of the problem, kids are impressionable, you, ghostfireswords, should know this.
yeah im pretty sure it's not a need, there's no need to overexaggerate; people play on the server as a hobby and for fun, both minors and adults

+with that logic, what need does a kid have to be writing out romantic sentences on a roleplay server anyway? no play irl?
(more seriously.... if nothing is brought oocly, there's no problem, as i said)
kids are impressionable, you, ghostfireswords, should know this.
for the most part, yeah, but what do you imply myself, ghostfireswords, specifically (i think im pretty sharp, myself)
 

xhunnibunnx

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yeah im pretty sure it's not a need, there's no need to overexaggerate; people play on the server as a hobby and for fun, both minors and adults

+with that logic, what need does a kid have to be writing out romantic sentences on a roleplay server anyway? no play irl?
(more seriously.... if nothing is brought oocly, there's no problem, as i said)

for the most part, yeah, but what do you imply myself, ghostfireswords, specifically (i think im pretty sharp, myself)
A child is a child. I've said it before, they don't have the mental maturity to process that they are being inappropriately talked to. Don't take it personally. Everyone thinks they're too smart, too perceptive to be *******. That's not the case at all. Adults on the other hand SHOULD absolutely, undeniably know better. They should have the maturity to know that's not okay, that there's no need as a grown person to ever engage with a minor in that way.
 

duuster

Level 5
yeah im pretty sure it's not a need, there's no need to overexaggerate; people play on the server as a hobby and for fun, both minors and adults

+with that logic, what need does a kid have to be writing out romantic sentences on a roleplay server anyway? no play irl?
(more seriously.... if nothing is brought oocly, there's no problem, as i said)

for the most part, yeah, but what do you imply myself, ghostfireswords, specifically (i think im pretty sharp, myself)
The difference is, someone who is considered an ADULT, should have the MERE common sense to know that writing ANYTHING romantic to a child, KNOWINGLY, is so fucking weird, creepy, and it's borderline grooming. As an adult, who has CREATED a character, with full conciousness, knowingly, then goes and writes ROMANTIC things to another character, who OOCly, is a child, and they know that, is weird. Someone who is a child, does not have the same mentality as someone who is an ADULT, their brains, (Even as an adult too,) aren't even fully developed, and sometimes, cannot even comprehend / recognise what grooming / what is right, and what is wrong. You are someone who used to lie about your age this server, as a child. Do not act like you have no idea, you are arguing it's not weird, I'm arguing it is. Because it is. If you CANNOT see this is weird, there is a PROBLEM. Or YOU ARE THE PROBLEM.
 

wes

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When letting your child online or you yourself going online, you are accepting these risk of this stuff happening each time you go online for anything. It's the sad truth and I wish it wasn't but that's the internet for you.
This is an extremely dangerous mindset to have. Something like this should NOT be normalized simply because it's a common occurrence.
Do not imply that nothing should come of this because there is always going to be another minor in danger to instances like this.

Thats kind of taking IC to OOC, I do find it a bit weird how older players could romancerp with younger ones but even so it’s just a minecraft server, it’s all for fun I suppose?
It shouldn't matter if it is considered taking IC to OOC when there is child endangerment, grooming, and overall illegal and inappropriate things coming of it.
'All for fun' is not a valid factor when there is a minor's safety at stake; do not take something of the sort lightly whatsoever.

Asking someone their age or asking if they are a minor is asking for their age, Yes saying Yes/No to that question will give the other party an idea of how old they may be. It's best to just avoid this question altogether, If you think someone is being 'sus' with someone else or you think a person is being 'sus' with you, REPORT it to a member of staff.
Again, do not take situations like this lightly at all. Referring to grooming as 'sus' behavior is in distaste when something as serious as this is at hand. Any jokes or light hearted comments of this matter are not welcome in a discussion as serious as this one.
I am not asking for minors to specify their age whatsoever, and asking if a minor is a minor is not the same as asking them to specify their age (which is a thousand times more dangerous than simply asking if they are a minor).


Refer back to my post as I've edited it and made new points. Minor safety is something this community should feel more passionate about and that's the problem with going back and forth on the forums like this.
 

RexLobo

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I've been reading this suggestion for a while and can see where both sides come from. As an adult who started playing while they were a minor, I agree that OOC age gaps should be looked at. But at the same time, it is hard to manage, not to mention the fact not everyone will share their age and could end up breaking this rule if it was implemented through lies or deception. A lot of my thoughts were stated by Ghostfire and I agree with a lot of what he has said, but I also agree with people who voted +1. This is an important subject and should be looked at with much care. If the rules are just stated as "Adults should not romancerp with Minors" then Adults will most likely NOT roleplay with them in general in order to avoid it.
What determines the boundaries of what's and what's not RomanceRP? Is simple jock flirting considered RomanceRP? It would be near impossible to monitor this
This statement from Yonio sums up a huge issue. What one person would consider normal roleplay could end up being romancerp for someone else and that could lead to punishment for the person who thought nothing of it? But overall, I do believe that if you know the person is impressionable and a minor, you shouldn't romancerp them.
in a lot of replies to this suggestion, it's said that it's wrong for an adult to send romantic actions in-character, towards another minor's character and STRICTLY this character (not the minor i think i made that clear), but it's okay for a minor to send the same action to the same minor? it's the same content, just coming from a different person of a different age; and it's not meant for the minor, but their character
This is another good point, since minors can still be impressionable on each other. The action will have the same effect no matter on who it is sent from. It isn't much different from an 18-year-old rping with a 15-year-old and a 17-year-old whos turning 18 doing the same. And if it's okay since the 17-year-old is a minor still, does that mean they would have to cut everything off after turning 18? As I said, there needs to be a lot of time put into this if it will get implemented.

And I will also bring up, can we not target people on this thread for their opinions? Personal attacks really make your argument less strong. You can point out flaws in the other's statements, but if you start targeting them as a person, it will end up getting messy.
Do not act like you have no idea, you are arguing it's not weird, I'm arguing it is. Because it is. If you CANNOT see this is weird, there is a PROBLEM. Or YOU ARE THE PROBLEM.
I understand the context but calling someone the problem isn't cool. They are voicing their opinion in a safe space, so keep it that way. Your other points are strong, but this weakens your argument because it looks like you're grasping at straws.
 

Ghostfire

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The difference is, someone who is considered an ADULT, should have the MERE common sense to know that writing ANYTHING romantic to a child, KNOWINGLY, is so fucking weird, creepy, and it's borderline grooming. As an adult, who has CREATED a character, with full conciousness, knowingly, then goes and writes ROMANTIC things to another character, who OOCly, is a child, and they know that, is weird. Someone who is a child, does not have the same mentality as someone who is an ADULT, their brains, (Even as an adult too,) aren't even fully developed, and sometimes, cannot even comprehend / recognise what grooming / what is right, and what is wrong.
again.. they're not writing it to the child, but to their character.. which, is not the child.................. you'd know if it was meant for the child if it ever went oocly
call it a lame excuse, but it IS true in pretty much every case, and in those situations that isn't the case, you can report it to staff to take care of it! there's already rules in place in which you can abide by

You are someone who used to lie about your age this server, who has also has IC interactions with someone whos is an adult, as a child. Do not act like you have no idea, you are arguing it's not weird, I'm arguing it is. Because it is. If you CANNOT see this is weird, there is a PROBLEM. Or YOU ARE THE PROBLEM.
yes, and by personal experience, i have had no issues with what everybody is arguing against here; call me the problem if you wish, but it's my opinion!

A child is a child. I've said it before, they don't have the mental maturity to process that they are being inappropriately talked to. Don't take it personally. Everyone thinks they're too smart, too perceptive to be *******. That's not the case at all. Adults on the other hand SHOULD absolutely, undeniably know better. They should have the maturity to know that's not okay, that there's no need as a grown person to ever engage with a minor in that way.
for this, same goes as for the first response and my previous feedback which im getting too lazy to restate, sorry




another thing i thought of that i can bring up:
restricting things in-character in this way will only create more issues.. for example, adults can easily lie about their age and get closer to children if this is brought up as a rule, making it an even more dangerous subject. like, what's stopping from some 25 year old dude from logging onto mc.roleplayhub.com and claiming they're 16? as of now, adults who are *******s don't HAVE to lie about their age to romancerp with a minor making it an easier thing to notice


And I will also bring up, can we not target people on this thread for their opinions? Personal attacks really make your argument less strong. You can point out flaws in the other's statements, but if you start targeting them as a person, it will end up getting messy.
if this was meant for me, just wanted to ask if you could point out when i have so i could clear it up or correct myself; in no way am i trying to attack a certain person, whilst i completely agree with the fact that we should NOT target a specific person (i think it's for me because it's under my feedback but i could be wrong)
 

duuster

Level 5
I've been reading this suggestion for a while and can see where both sides come from. As an adult who started playing while they were a minor, I agree that OOC age gaps should be looked at. But at the same time, it is hard to manage, not to mention the fact not everyone will share their age and could end up breaking this rule if it was implemented through lies or deception. A lot of my thoughts were stated by Ghostfire and I agree with a lot of what he has said, but I also agree with people who voted +1. This is an important subject and should be looked at with much care. If the rules are just stated as "Adults should not romancerp with Minors" then Adults will most likely NOT roleplay with them in general in order to avoid it.

This statement from Yonio sums up a huge issue. What one person would consider normal roleplay could end up being romancerp for someone else and that could lead to punishment for the person who thought nothing of it? But overall, I do believe that if you know the person is impressionable and a minor, you shouldn't romancerp them.

This is another good point, since minors can still be impressionable on each other. The action will have the same effect no matter on who it is sent from. It isn't much different from an 18-year-old rping with a 15-year-old and a 17-year-old whos turning 18 doing the same. And if it's okay since the 17-year-old is a minor still, does that mean they would have to cut everything off after turning 18? As I said, there needs to be a lot of time put into this if it will get implemented.

And I will also bring up, can we not target people on this thread for their opinions? Personal attacks really make your argument less strong. You can point out flaws in the other's statements, but if you start targeting them as a person, it will end up getting messy.

I understand the context but calling someone the problem isn't cool. They are voicing their opinion in a safe space, so keep it that way. Your other points are strong, but this weakens your argument because it looks like you're grasping at straws.
Hey RexLobo, if you believe an adult, roleplaying romantically with a minor, is not a problem, you're (not you specifically, in general) part of the problem. Who cares if it isn't cool? If you're (not you, in general) roleplaying romantically with a child, I think that's a lot less-cooler, and you should be worrying about THAT, opposed to me just CALLING someone 'a problem'. This is not a safe space. Kids are being *******, and taken advantage of (this is illegal by the way), is that your idea of a 'safe space'? I think if your opinion on borderline grooming, is anything other than 'it is wrong', perhaps re-asses. I am seventeen years old, and even I, can understand better than an adult (not you, in general), that is is wrong.
 

RexLobo

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if this was meant for me, just wanted to ask if you could point out when i have so i could clear it up or correct myself; in no way am i trying to attack a certain person, whilst i completely agree with the fact that we should NOT target a specific person (i think it's for me because it's under my feedback but i could be wrong)
Its just in general. I saw a few personal attacks in this thread and imo it weakens both arguments. I was more giving some context to the blatant disrespect that i quoted under it. mb if it was confusing.
 

duuster

Level 5
I
again.. they're not writing it to the child, but to their character.. which, is not the child.................. you'd know if it was meant for the child if it ever went oocly
call it a lame excuse, but it IS true in pretty much every case, and in those situations that isn't the case, you can report it to staff to take care of it! there's already rules in place in which you can abide by


yes, and by personal experience, i have had no issues with what everybody is arguing against here; call me the problem if you wish, but it's my opinion!


for this, same goes as for the first response and my previous feedback which im getting too lazy to restate, sorry




another thing i thought of that i can bring up:
restricting things in-character in this way will only create more issues.. for example, adults can easily lie about their age and get closer to children if this is brought up as a rule, making it an even more dangerous subject. like, what's stopping from some 25 year old dude from logging onto mc.roleplayhub.com and claiming they're 16? as of now, adults who are *******s don't HAVE to lie about their age to romancerp with a minor making it an easier thing to notice



if this was meant for me, just wanted to ask if you could point out when i have so i could clear it up or correct myself; in no way am i trying to attack a certain person, whilst i completely agree with the fact that we should NOT target a specific person (i think it's for me because it's under my feedback but i could be wrong)
I'd like to point out, that I have, in the past, reported the EXACT thing you're talking about, and you know what happened? Nothing. Nothing happened, nothing has been done. This is why it's an issue.
 

Ghostfire

Level 105
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I

I'd like to point out, that I have, in the past, reported the EXACT thing you're talking about, and you know what happened? Nothing. Nothing happened, nothing has been done. This is why it's an issue.
Here's the thing; you're asking the exact same staff team to enforce the same exact rulebook with what's being suggested
If that's the issue, then that shouldn't be your argument
 

duuster

Level 5
Here's the thing; you're asking the exact same staff team to enforce the same exact rulebook with what's being suggested
If that's the issue, then that shouldn't be your argument
What I reported, wasn't even roleplay. It was OOC flirting, between an adult, and a child. Someone who hadn't even finished school, and nothing was done about it. If nothing has been done about something OOCLy, what makes anyone think anything will be done about something ICly?
 

Ghostfire

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What I reported, wasn't even roleplay. It was OOC flirting, between an adult, and a child. Someone who hadn't even finished school, and nothing was done about it. If nothing has been done about something OOCLy, what makes anyone think anything will be done about something ICly?
I think that's the question that I should ask.. however, if nothing was done about it, there's definitely nothing that I can do about it unfortunately. It sucks that it happened, and I'm unsure why it wasn't handled, but I could only guess
 
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RexLobo

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Hey RexLobo, if you believe an adult, roleplaying romantically with a minor, is not a problem, you're (not you specifically, in general) part of the problem. Who cares if it isn't cool? If you're (not you, in general) roleplaying romantically with a child, I think that's a lot less-cooler, and you should be worrying about THAT, opposed to me just CALLING someone 'a problem'. This is not a safe space. Kids are being *******, and taken advantage of (this is illegal by the way), is that your idea of a 'safe space'? I think if your opinion on borderline grooming, is anything other than 'it is wrong', perhaps re-asses. I am seventeen years old, and even I, can understand better than an adult (not you, in general), that is is wrong.
In no way am I saying that it isn't a problem. As I said, I agree with making this a thing, ONLY if the proper steps are taken and the rules state clearly what is punishable. What I'm saying is to keep this thread professional, as it is a delicate subject. I am worried about the topic at hand, as it is a VERY LARGE issue. But openly attacking someone for their opinion is not the way to go about it. I'm looking at both arguments as they are both valid. Grooming is a very large issue and its clear. That's why everyone here is taking their time to speak about it and the rules.
Even though you are completely right and I wish this was a thing, unfortunately, it's way too hard to moderate. The only way to make that happen was if SRP was whitelisted and during the application, an ID was required (which I believe it's never going to happen). What I think we should do is add that maybe to the Heath and Safety guidelines and somehow add that to a rule. Even though ICly relationships should remain ICly, we know a lot of minors tend to take things OOCly. I really wish the internet was a safe place but we all know it isn't, so it's always good to remind minors to stay safe and avoid relations like that. And for the adults, we really wished everyone had common sense, but since we know they don't we keep an eye on them and are here for any report needed.
And as Maria said, the way to make sure it WOULD NEVER happen again is way too much and hard to moderate. That's why common sense is a large part of this. Staff can only do so much, and that's a horrible, but true fact. Minors can always end up lying about being older than they are, and adults could lie about being younger. Without the ID being required before being whitelisted (as Maria said) It won't be able to be properly monitored. I have friends who have been lied to about the ages of people they have been roleplaying with, and it is a big issue. I hate the fact that it happens, but it won't be able to be stopped. Rules can only be enforced if they are very clear and facts are known.
 

6Pancake

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All responses to this thread should be serious and avoid being toxic or else the thread will be closed until the next Staff Meeting.

Do not attack other players for their opinion, rather, discuss it civilly if anything
 

Nylu

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-1 / +1 | heavily leaning on +1

-1

I more than just agree that adults shouldn't be romantically roleplaying with minors. Just like how you see people get in trouble online for saying romantic things to minors in chats, it goes the same in roleplay.

Who cares if it isn't cool? If you're (not you, in general) roleplaying romantically with a child, I think that's a lot less-cooler, and you should be worrying about THAT, opposed to me just CALLING someone 'a problem'.

Kids are being *******, and taken advantage of (this is illegal by the way),


This better summarizes what I'm trying to express.

But, at the end of the day, as many others have said, this could be too difficult to implement. HOWEVER. I don't say that because it's hard to moderate because even if it were, it still enforces the safety of others.

I mean, of course, you can add it and say 'adults CANNOT roleplay romanticly with minors!' and some people will get in trouble but there'd also be cases where people are getting in trouble when they aren't meant to be. My -1 comes from the fact that this will lead to much more trouble than there already is. I'm not looking at this from a view of 'no, I agree that adults can romantically roleplay with minors!'. Instead, I'm looking at this from a view of 'adults should not be romanticly roleplaying with minors but even if a rule was implemented, it would lead to unneeded drama'. We'll all come to see situations where someone was warned/banned because they roleplayed with someone that reported them but the person that reported could've either:

- Did not express that they were uncomfortable

- Were the one TO engage

- Did not tell said adult that they were a minor to begin with, and so on. (ETC.)

Those were just a few examples, but you all should get the gist.

(EDITED TO ADD THIS JUST IN CASE ANYONE DOESN'T UNDERSTAND WHAT I MEANT)
These points are obsolete if both parties are aware one of them is a minor and the other isn't.

Before anything, if a minor has already said that they were a minor, then the adult shouldn't have ANY excuse to begin with. What I added above better explains what I mean.

And as others have said, let's keep this argument civil among the crowd instead of making remarks and/or reply in an ill tone. It'd only result in this getting locked and further opinions being gatekept.

Now, let me flip the switch for a moment.

+1

I do think that something can be implemented even if it's hard to moderate because being honest, there are MANY other rules hard to moderate. It (and SPECIFICALLY THIS) shouldn't be a case of 'it's hard to moderate' because even if it is, it ensures the safety of other individuals. By adding a rule similar to this, if a minor is feeling uncomfortable about a situation then they should be free to report it. However, reminder, said minor should say so beforehand that they are a minor. I'd rather not see situations where someone was framed because they had no idea that the person on the other side of the screen was younger. If two are engaging in any kind of romantic aspect, the two should tell each other beforehand. (this also goes for minor-to-minor interactions)

Going back to my original point, it will be hard to moderate but it will ensure the safety of others so whether or not it is easy/hard to look over should not be a thing to be brought up in my opinion.
 
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wes

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- Did not express that they were uncomfortable

- Were the one TO engage
These points are obsolete if both parties are aware one of them is a minor and the other isn't.

- Did not tell said adult that they were a minor to begin with, and so on. (ETC.)
I agree, however, it is on the adult's part to ensure these types of boundaries are set and never crossed.
 

Nylu

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These points are obsolete if both parties are aware one of them is a minor and the other isn't.
Of course; I should've pointed that out. (and i've edited that original post to clear that- because that's what i was originally intending though i've worded it a bit weird)

I agree, however, it is on the adult's part to ensure these types of boundaries are set and never crossed.
I also agree with this, but I'm looking at it from the community perspective and not how I would see it myself.

If I were an adult, of course, I'd say something beforehand. However, other people are just lazy and won't ask anything about it- which would cause drama afterward.
 

Infi

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In a perfect world, sure this system would work. But bear in mind this would be an extremely invasive rule to implement. (And, as Maria said it’s too difficult to have to moderate by keeping tabs on every single player’s age.) The most you can do is be responsible about who you’re roleplaying with and how you’re roleplaying.

Personally, I don’t think it would cater to the community well to have to confirm your OOC age before roleplaying. That goes against the health and safety guidelines of the server.

Lastly, as much as I like and agree with the suggestion, it’s simply too difficult of a task to moderate, as well as too invasive of a rule on players personal information to implement as it’s simply a block game.
 

Ruin

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+1
i'd actually write a long message and reply to every single comment
but i only got 40 minutes left before I leave and i dont want to ruin my day.

but pls keep in mind those who say "dont take ic to ooc" my brother in christ you literally write romancerp actions....
 
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