WE ALL KNOW THE DATING SCENE IS BEYOND COOKED IN THE BIG 26. I’VE LOOKED TO MY RIGHT, CHEATERS. LOOK TO MY LEFT, RED FLAGS. THESE PARTNERS STINK OF POO. HOW DO I KNOW IF SOMEONE’S A RED FLAG?
Dating is COOKED. The dating scene? FRIED. You’re well aware of the complaints everyone echoes out,
‘HE’S SUCH A RED FLAG!’
‘SHE STOOD ME UP ON OUR FIRST DATE!’
‘THEY MAIN REYNA ON VALORANT! THERE’S NO WAY THEY’RE NOT A CHUD.’
If YOU’RE still stuck in the Trenches of Singleness, stuck in a loop of texting your red flag-coded situationship that only texts you at 11:48pm, LOOK NO FURTHER!
I may not be single, but I hit the streets of Karakura to interview the dating gurus of Karakura about their WORST red flags in someone!
1. THEY DON’T DARE TO INTRODUCE YOU TO THEIR FRIENDS
No because like, what are you hiding… A SIDE-CHICK?! Are you embarrassed of me? We love a partner that shows us off to their friends! xx
2. THEY TAKE FOREVER TO ANSWER TEXTS
You have 24 hours in a day, and answering a text takes like, 10 seconds. If you’re not texting me, then who are you texting?! Your ROSTER?!
Even worse, when they take forever to answer texts, AND it’s as dry as a Popeyes biscuit? Brother euuuugh…
3. THEY HAVE WANDERING EYES…
Nothing disturbs me more than when I see a 10 baddie with her sewer rat chopped boyfriend and he’s looking at OTHER girls, on Onrain especially! Like, you literally have a goddess next to you, brother… Some men die of thirst when others drown.
4. THEY PRIORITISE THEIR GAMES OVER YOU…
We’re all familiar with this one lowkey. Have you ever had the partner that you’re trying to arrange plans with, but they seriously don’t wanna leave their ranked Valorant game? BFFR… Hitting Gold 3 cannot be that deep lil bro
5. IF THEY LEAVE TOWN A LOT, OR FOR VERY LONG WITHOUT TELLING YOU!
This one’s lowkey controversial… Why would they leave town for very long without telling you? Sounds like they have secret business that they don’t want you to find out about… Your partner might have a secret partner out of town, or worse, they might be A WANTED CRIMINAL!
Nothing disturbs me more than when I see a 10 baddie with her sewer rat chopped boyfriend and he’s looking at OTHER girls, on Onrain especially! Like, you literally have a goddess next to you, brother… Some men die of thirst when others drown.
4. THEY PRIORITISE THEIR GAMES OVER YOU…
We’re all familiar with this one lowkey. Have you ever had the partner that you’re trying to arrange plans with, but they seriously don’t wanna leave their ranked Valorant game? BFFR… Hitting Gold 3 cannot be that deep lil bro
5. IF THEY LEAVE TOWN A LOT, OR FOR VERY LONG WITHOUT TELLING YOU!
This one’s lowkey controversial… Why would they leave town for very long without telling you? Sounds like they have secret business that they don’t want you to find out about… Your partner might have a secret partner out of town, or worse, they might be A WANTED CRIMINAL!
WHAT OTHER RED FLAGS DO YOU HAVE IN PARTNERS?
ARE YOU ALSO STUCK IN THE TRENCHES OF SINGLEHOOD?
HAVE A RELATIONSHIP HORROR STORY YOU ARE DYING TO TELL US?
TOTALLY TAG US ON ONRAIN AT @KANews OR @Whizfeed IN YOUR POSTS!
Have a scoop that’s spicier than Mala Hotpot? Tea that’s hot? Dial us at (020)-980-4487!
Lee, 2026
